June 2012 – michelle teoh

ASEAN Scholarships For Malaysia Selection Tests

Greetings! Remember that email screenshot I posted two posts ago that showed how I was longlisted and was invited to sit for the ASEAN scholarships selection tests? Well, that’s exactly what I did for the past two days!

On the 16th of June, which was a Saturday, my Dad drove my Mum and I to the Sunway Carnival Convention Centre where the tests would be held. Needless to say, I felt like emptying the contents of my stomach, bowels and let’s be honest, my bladder too the entire time.

And then it was noon and we headed for Level 4 to find it crowded and let me just inform you beforehand that I knew absolutely no one else among my friends and acquaintances who would be sitting for the tests too but imagine my surprise when I bumped into not one nor two but three people I actually know back in Alor Setar: Jing Sheng, Zhe Han and Jing Hwan.

Yours truly, Jing Sheng, Jing Hwan and Zhe Han.

And things got a little better after that because I don’t like to admit it but the major reason why I was so nerve-wrecked was because I thought I’d be walking into a hall full of genius strangers and am I crazy for being more afraid of that than of the actual exams? Maybe.

Anyway, registration began, and all Pre-University applicants (which were around 80 people) were divided according to their classes. I was in Class 8.

The first test was Mathematics. The question paper contained 26 questions and we had to finish it in two hours. A friend asked me to describe the test in three words, so I’ll give you those three words: Pretty Freaking Bad. I managed to complete all questions, and by “complete” I mean create my own formulae as a desperate measure when I was running out of time and had no idea how to continue solving a question I absolutely didn’t know how to. Many asked if Singaporean Math is Modern Math or Add Math and the answer is both, only tougher. The syllabus is nearly the same, but the questions twist in more ways than one that make you forget the first step once you proceed to the next. To add to my distress, I couldn’t get that annoying Circus Afro song out of my head throughout the entire paper so yeah, thanks Pixar. If it’s even Pixar. I came out of the hall laughing my way to the toilets. Because I needed to pee and not because it’s a symbolic metaphor or whatever.

Next was English and I was relatively more confident for this test. The first paper was a comprehension and summary question and it was nice. Nice in the way that the words “using your own words” appear in almost every question because in Malaysia, your marks get deducted if you use your own words so wahey! (What even is “wahey” I don’t know it was a random sound I literally made at the end of that sentence.)

The second paper required us to write a 350 words comprehension in 30 minutes and this I’d been training for for the past two years when I took the University of New South Wales Essay Test, to be honest. We were allowed to choose from two questions which were “Young people nowadays are more concerned of themselves than other people- do you agree?” and “Wealth is a blessing as well a curse” and I chose the former one. Ten minutes into the essay and I didn’t really know where I was headed but at least I got two solid points in which filled up two pages.

And then the day was over and we went home.

The next day, we had to wake up at 6 AM because we were supposed to register ourselves at 9 AM. We reached Butterworth at 8 and had breakfast at some nasi kandar shop before heading for SCCC.

We were once again sorted according to our classes and led to different rooms where we would be sitting for our last test: the General Ability test. Amanda had warned me beforehand that speed was essential for this test so I rushed through all 46 questions in the span of 20 minutes, leaving two more questions undone which I then hurriedly filled in randomly. All in all, it was quite okay because I was confident I’d gotten most of the questions that I’d rushed through more or less correct.

After the GA test, we had a briefing session about the scholarship as well as the Junior Colleges at Singapore. And the gist of that session (as Aifa liked to put it) was this: I actually want to go to Singapore. Previously, it had just been an alternative route (although, let’s be honest, it’s been the only route these few months) but right then, right then I decided that if I got the scholarship, I would go. Without a doubt. This is a globally top ranked country educational-wise we are talking about, it’d be a shame to let go of such a great opportunity.

So after that, I bade farewell to the guys and headed for Penang where I would be meeting Amanda (who is currently an ASEAN scholar studying in Anglo-Chinese JC and also a fellow ex-Starstrucker) at Gurney Plaza.

We had lunch at Kim Gary and from then on, it was an Amanda-athon.

Nah, just kidding, couldn’t resist a The Social Network reference.

But basically, that’s what went down, to be honest, except it didn’t have as much hostility as Eduardo Saverin had put in. Amanda talked about her own process in getting the scholarship and subsequently her life at JC and in Singapore in general.

After talking to Amanda…okay so I might have been intimidated a little. And I’m not getting my hopes up. But I still see it as a potential path in the future.

After that, we went roaming around the mall for a while and ended up, not surprisingly, at Popular. However, surprisingly, we bumped into yet another ex-Starstrucker, Eibhlin and we went into states of shock for several seconds before everyone started talking at once. What were the odds? This was my first time meeting up with Amanda in Penang after she came back from Singapore for a 4-week break and the first person we bump into was Eibhlin, who we both coincidentally know? Do you see what I’m getting at? Do you see this incredible coincidence? Do you see a loophole in the universe? Do you see a chameleon licking a rainbow-coloured ball?

Anyway, Eibhlin had to leave really soon though and right after that Amanda’s phone started ringing as well so we started to part our ways after several rounds of hugs.

So that’s that and we have reached the end of this post! Further developments of the scholarship will only be known starting from mid-August, where eligible applicants will be called in for interviews in September and wouldn’t that be the perfect motivation for trials?

G’DAY!

The City Spins

It’s great how so many people I know actually have something relatively solid that they like and pursue, and I don’t even mean a certain course or field that they take up in colleges and universities. I mean typical hobbies that one spends his or her time doing. Baking, gaming, cycling, making sculptures, folding origami et cetera. It’s nice, because there’s a uniformity to it that gives a sense of security, even to people like me who are just looking from the sidelines. It’s like, you can just automatically relate someone to his or her interest, like, that’s Jane Doe, and she likes to rear deer, so everytime I meet her, I can expect to hold a conversation concerning deer and if I go on her blog it’ll be about deer and if I have any deer issues I can automatically go to her.

I guess ultimately, what I’m saying is that I’m not like the sort of people I just described. I don’t know what I like. I mean, most people would relate reading and writing to me, but the truth is, sometimes I’m so unconfident about my own writings to the point that I hate every single word I churn out from my brain juices; and sometimes, when I lose myself in the fantastic world of fiction that I grew to love so much, reality kicks in horridly to question me, why the hell aren’t you actually doing something about your non-fictional and very real life?

I don’t know, I’m just, afraid? I used to be comfortable being that quiet kid who preferred to read and write all alone but now…it’s changed. And the one thing I’m mostly pressured to be is sociable and outgoing and all those teenage normalcy that I don’t have. I don’t think people understand. I can do a lot of things, like wrap books perfectly, discern a physics law from a certain phenomenon around me but when it comes to the absolute big thing like talking to people, that’s where I find trouble. I don’t understand people who can walk into a room full of strangers and start talking to them or people who can walk into a party and start dancing and singing and when people comment that I’m “too quiet”, “not receptive”, “not enjoying myself”, believe me, most of the time, that’s not the case. Most of the time, the case is I don’t know what to do. Start walking up to a stranger and introduce myself? Start dancing like everyone else? But I can’t do that, because the whole time I will be worrying about how I look and how will people think of me and is my belly showing and is my hair alright and do I smell and do I look fat to these people and should I have worn my glasses out instead and more importantly, how do I present myself? Because that’s the main question. How do I present myself to these strangers or people I haven’t seen for ages? Am I a book nerd? An overachiever? A chatterbox? A laid-back, relaxed, don’t give a hoot kind of person? Serious and brooding? Full of indie cred or leak my guilty pleasure for certain pop music? Life of the party or a shadow in the corner? That’s why different people have different perceptions of me. And it’s frustrating, sometimes, when a certain image I’ve planned for myself doesn’t work out the way I want it to. Initially when I went for the internship in KL, I firmly told myself that I’d be extroverted and talkative and just out there and it worked for the first few minutes until the “do I look okay what do these people think of me” cycle returned and ruined the entire thing for me.

Yeah, okay, I am babbling. I certainly have a lot to complain about my life, don’t I? I sound so ungrateful of my blessings, don’t I? I’m sorry I’m in that kind of mood; it’s a mood that visits frequently nowadays.

This Is An Update!

Alright, well, remember that horrible, horrible headache I had which I described in my previous post? Well, it is good and gone! Now let me move on to something else nicer lest I jinx myself with further elaboration.

Today is the last day of the June holidays and coincidentally, it’s also my birthday! But before I continue on that, let me give you a recap of some of the interesting events that took place during the holidays.

Vern, Jia Ying, Jia Yuan, yours truly, Ying Hui and Jing Sheng. The rest went back earlier.

On Monday, 4th of June, we had a mini primary school gathering at TM Corner, and I say mini because only 10 out of 65 people turned up. Among the ten were Jia Yuan, Cheah En, Zhao Xian, Ying Hui, Vern, Jia Ying, Wei Xing, Jing Sheng, Hui Xiong and I. Despite that, it was still very nice as we caught up with each other over steamboat and teppanyaki. Later, everyone started to groan and gripe about being too full so someone suggested a jogging trip at Taman Jubli Perak the next morning and what was initially a joke turned serious and that’s what we did the next morning, although this time, the number of people that turned up was reduced by 50% and only five people turned up: Jia Yuan, Ying Hui, Zhao Xian, Cheah En and I.

On Wednesday, 6th of June, me and 30+ members of MYF including Jia Yuan and her younger sisters hiked the Penang Hill. We set off for Penang in a bus at 7am and reached the park where we would begin hiking at around 11am. It had begun to rain by the time we reached the park so everyone whipped out their raincoats and umbrellas but I only had a cap in hand so that was my only protection (from the rain, not anything else omg) for the hike.

The hike started pleasantly, although admittedly (and this is an embarrassing admission) I had a hard time keeping up with Jia Yuan and the rest because they were fast, I was weak and under-exercised, and the road was bumpy and tricky, so solve that equation by yourself. So about half an hour later (I think), I had to ask Jia Yuan to stop for a while to rest (initially I’d asked her when we were stopping to rest and she gave me a look saying no one was going to stop to rest dun dun dun) because I was starting to feel dizzy and inhaling was starting to feel painful. I looked around me and everyone was almost gone and we weren’t even close to the top of the hill and we were on a hill and that was when I started to have a panic attack. I sat down but vertigo still made my head spin and my hands and chest were starting to numb and it was the scariest moment of my life. I legitimately thought I was going to die right then and there. Like, my heart was going to stop and I’m going to die on a hill. I started blabbing subconsciously after that (Jia Yuan said she got worried because I was literally making no sense) and by this time, most of the other adults bringing up the rear stopped to access the situation.

Things weren’t improving even after quite some time and when I tried to stand up I collapsed almost immediately so the final plan was to…actually, I don’t quite know what the final plan was but it was settled that I wasn’t going to continue climbing up anymore. And then something happened. Uncle Joseph and Jia Yuan helped me to stand up really slowly, aided with his constant encouraging words and when I stood up on my two feet, the numbness actually vanished instantaneously. Just like that. I still don’t know what really happened, what caused the numbness to take over my nervous system and what chased it away, but I’m still too afraid to Google the symptoms yet so let’s just praise the lord that I was able to overcome that obstacle.

After that, we (by this time, “we” meant Uncle Ti Pheng, Uncle Joseph, Uncle Kenny, Angeline’s dad, Yi Hong, Jia Yuan -those wonderful, wonderful people who stayed behind to help me- and I) continued to climb up the hill at a really, really slow pace and I had to rest a couple of times because I was feeling pretty weak and then halfway through the hike I actually had a muscle cramp.

But despite all that, we managed to make it out of the hill! Woo yes celebration! But I cheated a little on the tar road by hitchhiking a stranger’s jeep all the way up the hill. Here, I want to take this chance to thank everyone who helped me during that tough time from the bottom of my heart. Honestly, I don’t think I would’ve ever made it out of the hill without the help from these people: Uncle Ti Pheng, Uncle Kenny, Uncle Joseph, Angeline’s dad, the pastor, Yi Hong and Jia Yuan. I’m sorry to have caused so much trouble and I cannot thank you enough for all the help you guys gave.

At the top of the hill, we cleaned up and then took the train down. Four hours of climbing up the hill, five minutes of descending it. The biggest irony of my life.

After reaching flat ground, we headed for Queensbay Mall, where we were given 2 and a half hours to shop and eat. Jia Yuan and I broke away from the group to shop for clothes and books. We each bought a shirt at Padini, and then had dinner at this lovely English-styled cafe called Winters Warmers (I think) and the food was brilliant, although that could just be our hunger. It was probably the loveliest meal I’ve had in months.

Soon, it was time to leave and I was dead beat with and the tendons in my legs were screaming but I managed to stay up throughout the whole trip back to Alor Setar, gossiping with Jia Yuan all the way. The moment I reached home, the first thing I did was check the Internet (did you honestly think I was going to say I went to sleep immediately? No, that is not the kind of life I lead, sadly) and then only went to sleep, completely conked out.

So that was how I spent my holidays. Seriously, those were the only productive days during which I actually got up to do something. Other than that, my universe was just the bed, my phone, my laptop and the TV.

Moving on to the birthday mood, this year, I decided to do nothing, which really isn’t such a huge decision, let’s be real. But my parents initially wanted to hold a celebration for me which I finally rejected because I just wasn’t up for it. I don’t know, I just think…birthdays aren’t such big deals you know? (Says the kid who cried when no one entertained her during her birthday last year oh whoops!) But yeah. I’m already happy enough that people take time out of their schedules to properly wish me a happy birthday, some even accompanied with lovely essays about my brilliance and awesomeness (which is actually non-existent, I assure you). So, thank you everyone for the wishes!

Did I mention that I got a pair of aviators for my birthday from my dad?

And no, I totally wasn’t trying to channel Harry Styles that idiot from One Direction, what are you on about.

See, Aifa, I told you this post would veer off into the direction of…One Direction.

Besides that, my parents also got me several books as early birthday presents: Insurgent by Veronica Roth, To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee, Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger, Paper Towns by John Green, Everything Is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer and A Feast For Crows by none other than the brilliant George R.R. Martin of the A Song of Ice and Fire series.

Oh and before I leave, let me leave you with an incredible gem that came in my email inbox last week, which in itself is probably the greatest birthday present I’ve received this year.