thirty 25: december – reflecting on twenty twenty-five

so my “thirty 25” writing project clearly did not take off. for those new here, i told myself at the start of the year that i would try to write one post a month on this blog, something which i found relatively easy to do in my teenage years but struggle to now. as a result, i’ve only had a grand total of five (5) posts (while a draft for September still sits stagnant in my drafts for three months now) as part of my 2025 oeuvre.

but no matter, we can always start again in the new year. this was not meant to be a self-berating post anyway, but one attempting to reflect on the year i’ve just had, on the very last day of 2025.

at the end of last year/ start of this year, i was slightly obsessed with the idea of setting goals for myself; combine that with my penchant for making lists, i came up with a “2025 ins and outs” list recorded on my Notes app:

i also did a vision board exercise with a new friend sometime in January this year at a Don Don Donki table in Suntec, which was supposed to visualise and manifest achievements i wanted for myself for the year:

needless to say, i was very ambitious! having had the chaotic but fulfilling year that was 2024 and feeling like Singapore was the perfect place to continue my ongoing quest of exploring life in general, i was looking forward to a new year filled with more of the fulfilment and less of the chaos. plus, i was primarily interested in having these goals as overarching guidance rather than a strict checklist to be completed within the year.

so now’s a good time as any to review and reflect on my year.

as a whole, i think i definitely achieved my main two targets of reading and working out more. i also really wanted to write more but let’s not talk about that. i picked up running for the first time late last year after my surgery, and have somewhat ran pretty consistently this year (i generally try to run 2x a week unless i’m sick, on my period, have plans or just. lazy). i even ran my first ever marathon (a baby 5k run but still a run nonetheless)! i also started attending strength training classes regularly since middle of this year and found myself enjoying them quite a lot, although it almost always results in subsequent lazy days when even getting out of bed makes me feel incredibly sore.

something not on my in-list or vision board which was a huge personal achievement to me this year was eating healthier and cleaner, brought about by my cholesterol reading in the first quarter of the year. i spiralled down a rabbit hole for a whole week during which i came up with a meal plan to reduce my cholesterol levels, and it ultimately worked when i did my annual check-up in June and found my cholesterol having returned to normal levels. unfortunately, running on the high of my latest reading, i became way less strict with my diet after that but this exercise has made me a lot more conscious about my dietary intake and taught me to read nutrition labels, cut out certain types of food entirely and incorporate healthier substitutes into my meals.

what i am proudest of though is my achievement of successfully reading 80 books this year! it was one of my prioritised goals this year to read more, after having gone through a 10-year draught of leisure reading after i started law school. i had a lot of fun with the types of books i read this year: i downloaded ebooks to read on my phone/iPad while in commute, searched up free books people were giving away on Olio/Carousell, but ultimately my reading habit was greatly boosted once i got my Singapore PR and immediately signed up for an NLB membership, and later on when i discovered, and started volunteering at Casual Poet Library. visiting these two libraries became a weekly affair thereafter, and i was delighted to rediscover the joy, comfort and peace of surrounding myself with shelves upon shelves of books, the scent of pages wafting through the room, and the silent, mutual understanding between patrons of the premises on the sanctity of a shared and communal reading space.

Click here for the list of books I’ve read this year!

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focusing a lot of my time on reading this year has made me realise a couple of things: my attention span is not as fucked by short-form content as i’d initially thought, making it a rule to write a review after finishing each book really forced me to think, digest and analyse the key themes and elements present in the story (plot progress, character development, writing/ prose style etc) and more importantly, the salient messages the author wished to convey through their writing and how they made me feel.

and honestly, reading again has just reminded me how fun reading can be.

my favourite books this year revolved around strong sisterly bonds (Sister Snake by Amanda Lee Koe, Blue Sisters by Coco Mellors), the unfortunate and relatable experience of living as a woman in a patriarchal society (Breasts and Eggs by Mieko Kawakami), omniscient stories of the collapse of society in a dystopian future following climate change and a political steering towards conservatism and fascism (The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood, Parable of the Sower by Octavia E. Butler), dark academia tales centred around morally ambiguous characters (Katabasis by R. F. Kuang, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell by Susanna Clarke), and my most favourite genre of all – witty, clever and satirical writing with unlikeable main character(s) whose presence and role only enhances the reading experience (Butter by Asako Yuzuki, Yellowface by R. F. Kuang, Severance by Ling Ma).

returning to the reading sphere also encouraged me to attend several book/reading-related events this year: Amanda Lee Koe’s Green Snake/Sister Snake joint screening and book signing session at The Projector (RIP); Casual Poet Library’s Outdoor Library Day where anyone was welcome to bring a book and a chair to read, outdoor, together; NLB’s Travelog: Reading Japan book club where we discussed Days at the Morisaki Bookshop by Satoshi Yagisawa and The Miracles of the Namiya General Store by Keigo Higashino; and Jemimah Wei’s SingLit Book Club for The Original Daughter at the Central Library. i attended three of these events with friends and the last one alone, and i’d like to think that reviving my reading habit has allowed me to push myself out of my comfort zone when i previously typically wouldn’t.

now that we’ve gotten the big achievements out of the way, here are the baby ones: i got my Singapore PR in February (not really baby in the grand scheme of things but also effort wasn’t really required on my part. i was just privileged enough to be born Malaysian Chinese with a womb in an era where national birth rates are low). i had fewer posture issues than i did last year but unfortunately i think this is just an organic side effect of Growing Old™. did not bring my PC over to Singapore yet but i currently have a somewhat satisfactory setup. had many, many more hangouts with friends both old and new (big 30 party in Singapore, reconnected with everyone in KL, more tomato hotpots, homecooked and homebaked food, video/ board game nights, and first-time events like spontaneous visit to Lazarus island, Halloween horror house and perfume-making workshop), although Taiwan trip 2025 did not make it out of the groupchat (but Bali trip 2026 did hehehe). cosplayed several times this year with Rei and even got Ian to cosplay with us at AFA! spent Christmas and year end holidays with parents and family in Singapore which was a lot of fun. not a personal achievement at all but absolutely worth mentioning that Dan and Phil hard launched this year what the hell!!!!!! as a veteran phannie this was an extremely significant event

not much development in the dating department compared to last year, but funnily enough this has made my year a lot more peaceful and a lot less chaotic, just as i’d hoped for so that worked out in the end. and because of this preserved peace, i’ve had the time and opportunity to put myself first in most situations, to be more conscious about my thoughts and actions and dissecting my strengths and shortcomings, in my ongoing journey towards becoming the person i want to be. this involved inspecting and retrospecting the occasions and states of mind i’m in that tend to bring out the worst in me: people-pleasing tendencies, abandoning my boundaries and toiling through the consequent regret after, insecurities translating into defensiveness and/or avoidance. this is very much still a work in progress with relation to the self, as i imagine it would probably be for life. but what is the self if not a lifelong project to cultivate the same?

at the same time, i’ve also had a lot of time to have a proper think about dating, relationships, marriage and children and what they actually mean to me – but that’s a post for another day (if i ever get around to it).

lastly, no i did not get to see any of the baddies i wanted to see live (Chappell Roan, Sabrina Carpenter, Magdalena Bay) but i did see Niki, queen of long distance relationship breakups, live in KL with Elya in February which made me cry, and i will be seeing My Chemical Romance in KL in November next year. and since we’re on the topic of music, let me just end this post with some quick reviews of some of my favourite 2025 albums:

Virgin – Lorde

Ego Death At A Bachelorette Party – Hayley Williams

Man’s Best Friend – Sabrina Carpenter

Addison – Addison Rae

The Life of a Showgirl – Taylor Swift

have a good 2026 y’all, and may all of us remember to carry the whimsy of life with us everywhere we go, to see the beauty present in our surroundings, but also to call out bullshit, injustice and unkindness where it is due. happy new year!