Shyness.. My failure

<Dated 3 August 2008>

Shy.

I am staring at this word. I hate this word. Why does it have to be a part of me?

For those whose heads are already dropping to floor and their shoulders high in the air in scepticism (i dunno if its even the right word), I am an incredibly shy girl.

For instance, since I became prefect, I never said a word to the students in the class I am (inspecting?) Every morning, I’m supposed to, you know, boom “Who’s sweeping the floor today? Please do it now!” instead of “Um.. excuse me, er… Do you know who is Husha, who’s supposed to sweep the floor?” By the way, I got it wrong. Its Husna, not Husha, and she (the girl I was questioning) was like, “Huh? Husha? What?”

What’s more, instead of walking around checking the cleanliness of the classroom, I lingered at the notice board, pretending to fall in love with the Duty Roster.

7.25am. I switched off the lights and waited for the students to come out and queue up. WAITED. Pathetic. And they did crawl out into two worm-like lines. They laughed, they shouted, they talked, they teased, and still, I kept my stupid mouth shut, like I was waiting for God to take some action or something.

This situation lasted for a few days until the class monitor even got sympathetic of me. Once she ordered the class to shut up and added “Look, can’t you feel sorry for the poor prefect standing there?”. I was so ashamed that my face got so red and I turned away. I’m so pathetic.

Shy.

S-H-Y.

I hate being SHY.