Farewell?

Last day of school. I’m gonna be in different classes with my friends next year. I dunno if I’ll ever make new friends there. It’s like the beginning of the year all over again. Like a stranger in a crowd of strangers.

When I knew I was going to be in a different class, and even though it was the best class (for me) in school, I felt no happiness at all. It was like, a dementor had just sucked up all the happiness in me. It wasn’t exactly sadness, either. I was confused, and dizzy, like I was hit by a Confunding Charm. We were in the surau then and I could actually feel tears welling up in my eyes. But then I thought, Why am I crying? I mean, I’m promoted! So why am I crying? Well, I got my answer: I couldn’t bear to leave my friends.

See, I’m not exactly a friendly person, so unless you’re a very close friend of mine, I’m not going to speak to you. You’ll have to start the talking. That’s plain, old, typical me. So, making new friends is a very tough challenge for me.

Back at class, several people cried, be it the promoted ones, the demoted ones, and the neither ones. I cried silently too, but did it stealthily, which still received several teases from the sturdier students. Cheng Lin did console me, which made me feel better too.

Afternoon. We had a, you-can-say-farewell party. I tried to hold back all my tears and put on a jovial expression and went on with my goofy ways. The painful fact that I was going to part with Hwa, Leea, Anum and others was still in my heart, waiting to be unleashed once triggered. One thought about it and the tears came out. No use, so I ignored it till after school. In the car, I smiled to my father to assure him I was alright, just like any other school day, then I turned away and the dark clouds started hanging in my heart. I knew we wouldn’t be apart forever. I knew we’d still be able to see each other every single day in school, but deep down in my heart, through all those consoling drivel, I knew that we won’t be as close as we did before. I knew that life wouldn’t always keep its sweet. I knew that my “friendship forever” promise won’t be kept.

To all my 1 Kedah classmates,

              I am awfully sorry if I have ever offended or hurt your feelings. Please accept my apologies. I have appreciated your faithful company throughout the whole year. You lended me a helping hand when I was losing ground; you shared my pain and my sorrow, despite my demanding ways, and I’m sorry for all the bad things I have done or said to you. Bear in mind, that never for a millisecond will I ever forget you, our friendship, our memories.

                Once again, thank you, and sorry. Terima kasih atas segala-galanya, kamulah pelita yang mencahayai perjalananku ke menara gading. Terima kasih dan minta maaf.

Farewell, my friends.

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Author: Michelle Teoh

21-year-old cynical Asian, book enthusiast and purveyor of fine sarcasm.

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