Something Goes Right In My Life

The very start of my Starstruck! journey

I woke up a very sick person this morning with a runny nose followed by a fever. The entire morning went by quite horribly until I woke up from an uncomfortable nap in the afternoon to check my Facebook on my phone.

To find out that other Starstruck! writers were squealing about getting the internship.

The first thought that came to mind was, what! when! where! how! and then I proceeded to check my email because that would be the logical thing to do…and found no email. The whole time, I kept on repeating to myself that whatever happens, do not be disappointed, but despite that I still felt disappointed because most people I know from Starstruck! (Amanda, Ju Mei, Ellora) got the internship. And then I told myself, it’s alright, you should’ve seen this coming anyway.

And then for some reason, I had an urge to check my old email inbox, the email address which I first used for my Starstruck! assignments. I didn’t know what I was expecting because the whole time I logged into Yahoo! with my old email address, my head was filled with desperate and contradicting thoughts like “please please please let the email be there” and “don’t be disappointed, don’t expect anything” because that was my constant motto, to never harbour any expectations. And when the Yahoo! mailbox page loaded, guess what I saw…!!!

I AM NOW OFFICIALLY AN INTERN FOR THE STAR NEWSPAPER FOR A MONTH!

So that will mean I will be staying in KL alone (well not really alone as in one-person but alone as in without my parents) for a month from the 21st of November to 20th of December and I will be working at Menara Star as a journalist intern within the heart of the newspaper itself.

Needless to say, I was jumping with joy after that and it was like déjà vu all over again.

However, despite the joy of finally having earned something valuable after months of desperate deadlines and mind-crushing assignments, the idea of going to KL for the internship and living alone is frightening, doubled by my introverted personality. It’s going to be a mad world out there, and I don’t know what it’ll do to my “fragile” sixteen-year-old soul.

Now, barely two months away from the internship in Malaysia’s NYC, I see this as a huge turning point in my life. And I know, despite the scary premonitions and predictions, I wouldn’t miss it for anything.

Before I go, here’s a note to my fellow Starstruck! writers since our Starstruck! journey is finally and actually coming to an end:

Dear all, each and everyone of you,

You are all such amazing people, such amazing writers, to be exact. I know I haven’t been the friendliest one of the bunch, and I also know attributing my unfriendliness to my introversion sounds like a lame excuse, but that is the reason I keep to myself most of the time. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to mix around with you guys (quite the opposite, actually), and I certainly hope you guys don’t pass it off as arrogance or snobbishness because to be honest, I don’t really have much to be arrogant or proud of, since most writers on the Starstruck! programme are definitely more talented than I am. I’m still trying to work on my hermit personality.

You don’t know how thankful I am, though, that I have come to know quite a number of amazing new friends through Starstruck! Those crazy chats and the random thingmajigs that go on on the Starstruck! 40 Facebook group wall. Missing the meet-up at Menara Star in June this year was one of the most regretful decisions I’ve made, but I still cling on to the hope that I get to meet each of my fellow Starstruckers someday in the future. (I guess you can say meeting Amanda is my first step forward to that goal.)

To the masterminds behind Stuff@School, thank you for giving me the opportunity to participate in this eye-opening young journalist programme. As I’d once told Amanda, before Starstruck!, I was safe within the confines of my tiny home in the equally tiny town of Alor Setar, believing that I had what it takes, but after Starstruck!, I realised there was much more to it than I’d thought. I now get a sense of what I might want to be in the future, and I am positive the internship will be an even more helpful guide as I wade through the murky waters of the journalism world.

Before I leave, a very heartfelt congratulations to the other upper secondary writers who also got the internship: Alicia, Eibhlin, Amelia, Ann-Marie, Claire, Ju Mei, Min Hui, Ellora, June, Najihah, Kathy, Vincent, Kyle, Paik Suan and Amanda New York City!

Once a Starstruck!, forever a Starstruck!