In and Out of Purpose

Contrary to past experiences, I know what this feeling is. It’s been missing from my life for quite some time now and that is good but now that it’s back I don’t know what to do. Nothing’s happened. Nothing’s changed. But it came anyway, and I’m trying to look for a way out without being a bother to anyone else. That’s why I’m here. This is all so stupid, stupid, stupid.

EDIT: 10:18 PM; Sometimes when I’m feeling inexplicably sad like today, I like to think it’s because in that moment, I am connected to the world, to its pain and suffering and loss, and then I feel better knowing that I’m siphoning the world’s sadness into myself, and because of that, the level of negativity in the world decreases and the world is a happier place, despite my sadness.

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Author: Michelle Teoh

21-year-old cynical Asian, book enthusiast and purveyor of fine sarcasm.

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