et ducit mundum per luce (and leads the world by light)

Last night, I was talking to a new friend and we started talking about the magnitude of emotions. Strengthening our beliefs and opinions with songs on our mutual playlist, we talked about the sensitive nature of our feelings and I realised it is true that you do meet people of all kinds in college.

I don’t think it serves as a surprise to anyone that knows me personally that I can possibly be one of the most emotional people one has ever met. It is both a gift and a curse to be able to feel so much about something as trivial as an ice skating ticket wristband. Everything holds sentimentality; every torn page a story and every arcade coin a memory. And that’s not even interacting with real life people yet, where emotions are invested much more heavily and fears amplified.

A gift and a curse, like I said, because most of the time it feels like I’m bursting with absolute pure emotions to give, but no one to give them to. Sensitivity and a melancholic temperament can also be pains in the arses because you feel a certain emotion for no reason at all, sometimes, and you are left wondering what to do with them.

But to all those who do not relate, I can assure you though that life as an emotional crackhead provides a much more rewarding life experience than otherwise, because what is a better story than a story filled with the rawest elation and grief? Because I’d rather feel everything than to not feel anything at all.

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Author: Michelle Teoh

21-year-old cynical Asian, book enthusiast and purveyor of fine sarcasm.

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