Month XII

I feel like blogging at least once in my college/university library is somewhat a trademark tradition of this blog. As it is, I am currently in the university’s Alan Gilbert Learning Commons spending the four-hour interval between my first lecture and the next, Criminal Law, which starts in about one and a half hours. I ran out of pen ink while attempting to write out my essay outline for this Thursday’s seminar so in the end I gave in and settled for typing out a blogpost instead.

This is proving to be trickier than I thought because I keep on switching tabs to Wikipedia whenever someone turns their head my way, paranoid that they can and want to read what I’m writing on this gigantic computer screen that’s so obvious to the public eye. Which is ironic because I’m posting this on the Internet, which is the biggest and greatest public eye there is.

Writing like this, being put on the spot in a situation where I have not prepared to write out what I’ve concocted for days prior to this, is so strange, because while I rarely have multiple revisions of posts before I publish them, they are usually the results of weeks of mental perusing before being fleshed out in the form of words. The only other time I’ve done something like this in recent years is during sem 1 in Sunway in English class when Bellyn initiated a challenge to write a full blogpost on the spot throughout class. So. Here this is. Three paragraphs of introductory waffling later, all I can think to talk about is that it’s already the month of December. Don’t worry if you’ve never even peeked at the calendar once since the start of this year! You can bet on Michelle that she will always announce the current month, a hot and elaborative topic, on Careful Confessions at one point or another! Very interesting. Follow for more relatable posts

This year’s December has a slight difference from all other Decembers in my previous 19 years of life, and here we bring in another fascinating subject matter: the weather. December means winter and the temperature’s been very graciously generous these past few days, keeping well above 10 degrees, but just two weeks ago, it started snowing a little at 3AM and Rumin and I went out, clad in pajamas, to experience this seasonal divergence. Not five minutes later, the snow petered out into rain. Of course. Nothing less than what I expect from Manchester.

December also means the end of my first semester in law school. Which, to be perfectly frank, is so startling. The day I first landed at Manchester feels like a lifetime away, yet at the same time the past eight weeks of classes have somehow…flown past in a blur. Each week does, to be honest. Especially when weekdays are spent calculating just enough time to fit in time for seminar reading in between lectures and meals and sleep before seminars roll around at the end of the week, and then an optional day off during the weekend when I binge watch anime or stay over at Victoria Park before the rinse, lather, repeat routine sinks in again. And just like that, I have somehow, somehow, managed to survive the first semester of law school. Occasionally I wonder if I’m still doing the whole university thing wrong because what actually do people mean when they reassure me that university life is “way more relaxed and enjoyable than compulsory school education” because it’s only just weekly assignments and I’m already struggling to stay afloat, periodically pierced by jolting instances in which I realise that exams are going to be even more extreme than this. Moments of what am I actually doing are still of greater frequency than the opposite, but uh, what is important is that we have our health, I guess? Sometimes it still hasn’t quite sunk in yet that I’m a university student because aren’t university students technically adults that have a firm grasp on their lives and what to do with them and I cannot relate to that grown-up concept any more than I can to, I don’t know, income taxes. (You know what I can relate to, though? Feeling so happy when I manage to buy groceries and/or necessities priced at less than a pound for each item and looking forward to the weekend so I can do laundry and clean the toilet, things that psychologically give me a semblance of control over my life when in actual fact I might have none)

And finally, because I already have to go to class and unsurprisingly, I’ve managed to prattle on and on about more meaningless drivel than I give myself credit for, this December also differs in the sense that it’s the first December I will be alone.

Haha I thought I could elaborate on that point even further, for all the pathetic sentimental self-pity I manage to insert into all my blogposts, but I can’t think of anything more to add that isn’t already implied in the weight of that sentence.


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Michelle Teoh

26-year-old cynical Asian, book enthusiast and purveyor of fine sarcasm.

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