Michelle Watches American Idol Season 10 #1

Is it just me, or is Steven Tyler looking like he’s trying too hard to have his hair look like J.Lo’s?

Anyway, I only got to watch the first episode of the new season of American Idol because I don’t have cable TV and Malaysian TV is a day late.

I think the only three words that was on my mind the whole time I was watching the show was, “WHERE IS SIMON?”

The new judge panel is so disappointing. We all know Randy can’t judge, and if he does we can’t really understand him since all he ever says is “dawg” and “yo” and ends every sentence with “man”. Proof can be seen during this one audition when he said “Aw man I’m sorry dawg I guess it’s a no for today” but then J.Lo and Steven Tyler started saying yes and he totally just did a 360 degree round turn and said, “Yeah man you were awesome yo yo yo dawg yo that’s cool that’s cool”. I don’t even know if he’s trying to be funny but if he’s going to be bouncing back and forth like that throughout the whole season, I say get Randy off the judge panel!

And then there’s J.Lo… I don’t think I’ll ever get why people faint over her, but then again that’s just my opinion. Putting someone as famous and “bootylicious” as Jennifer Lopez on the judge panel isn’t actually something I would do, because would you look at the number of self-proclaimed number one fans who queue up behind billions of people not to audition for American Idol, no not really, but only to catch a glimpse of their queen, Jennifer Lopez. I don’t know if the people behind AI really do filter and weed out the poorest performers before they get into the auditions like the papers proclaim but if they do, they sure have a sick sense of humour to let in just the right amount of horrible, horrible contestants to make the show juicy enough for America. I know it’s a reality show and it’s only normal to do everything to make it enjoyable and laughable but it kind of loses the real meaning of “searching for the next American Idol” if everyone’s just going to go up to the television screen and say “omg I’m going to see Jennifer Lopez omg omg omg”. And also, the way I look at it, American Idol is trying to make J.Lo the new Simon, or even a Kara, by the way they’re making J.Lo look like a harsh and fierce and unforgiving bitch. Ha. That can never happen, Simon Fuller.

Steven Tyler…I don’t even know what to say about him. I don’t really know him, except that he’s from Aerosmith,and that’s pretty cool, although (don’t kill me for saying this) he’s kind of like the new Paula, commenting more on outfits and looks than their singing. He’s a cool “dawg”, but I don’t know, I just don’t see it, man. I just don’t see it.

I’m not having a good feeling about this new season. The contestants are pretty much same old, same old, although less entertaining, the judges are just blah and Ryan is not getting enough showtime. I was like “Where’s Ryan?” throughout the whole show (apart from “WHERE IS SIMON?”) because he is one of the reasons I made an effort to finish the episode tonight. I know once they enter Hollywood week it’ll be better, but for now I’m just…urgh.

Simon come back wherever you are I don’t care if you now have a sexier judge companion in the form of Cheryl Cole please come back even though you are not American, American Idol is dying without you.

We want your witty comments

Your amazing smile

Your extraordinary personality

And lastly…such a beautiful face.

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Author: Michelle Teoh

21-year-old cynical Asian, book enthusiast and purveyor of fine sarcasm.

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