I thought I could come up with something better as a title for this post. Apparently not. These past few days have left me so emotionally drained, and it has everything to do about everything that is happening to me now, which is SPM and leaving school.
Yesterday, the Muslims had a bacaan Yasin session at the hall and right after that, we had a Mohon Restu ceremony where all the Form Fives asked for forgiveness from the teachers and their friends and needless to say, many tears were shed and many hugs were given but I was determined to put on a straight face the entire time, although my anxiety for SPM and grief towards leaving school was causing an emotional whirlwind within myself.
Today, the last day of school, was a busy one. We had our last assembly this morning, and then took yearbook prefect photos, arranged our tables and chairs for SPM in the hall, collected our grad photos and cleared our classrooms of our books and papers. During assembly, all the Form Fives were exceptionally louder and more passionate when singing the school song, especially the prefects, as we made a choir at the back of the hall and practically screamed, “TERIMA KASIH PUAN HAJAH KARTINI, TERIMA KASIH CIKGU-CIKGU!” And then I also realised it was my last day wearing my prefect uniform and the finality was even more absolute as I tore the wrapping paper (with marker pen scribbles of “Harry Styles” all over it, might I add) off my table and moved my huge load of books and papers into my car with the help of Aiman and Aida. As I said, emotionally exhausting and just so confusing and I guess this is what growing up feels like? When you feel like you’re taking up a heavier burden although you’re technically leaving something behind. Or maybe that’s just SPM.
Thank you, our headmistress, Puan Hajah Kartini Zakaria, for taking care of us all this while; thank you, our beloved teachers, especially those who taught us in Form Five, Cikgu Harum, Puan Amanah, Puan Zaza, Teacher Hasnida, Puan Rohana, Teacher Noni, Sir Ong, Puan Rohaiza, Puan Hazliyanti, Puan Azizah, Miss Tam and all the teachers who have ever helped us in any way in our five years in Asma; thank you 1 Kedah ’08, 2 Asma ’09, 3 Asma ’10, 4 Negeri ’11 and 5 Negeri ’12 for being the best classmates I could ever ask for and for being my home for five consecutive years; and finally all my Form Five friends, all of you, for giving me such wonderful memories these five years and also a heavy heart as I begin to take the first step out of this school.
Visit the Asma Class of ’12 blog to read more about my fellow Form Fives’ experiences.