How It All Went Down

And by it I mean Armageddon and by Armageddon I mean the day I took my SPM results.

The night before, wouldn’t you be surprised that I only managed to sleep for three hours before waking up in a state of anxiety where I felt like I’d swallowed a washing machine. I cleaned up and put on my uniform, all the while behaving like a zombie, always keeping track of the time and feeling like every tick of the clock was hammering me further down into the ground. You might think I’m being overdramatic with all these hyperboles but believe me, at that moment, everything moved too slowly and too quickly at once. Anyway, la dee da and then I’ve arrived at school and met my equally anxious friends and that made everyone even more anxious. Finally, the headmistress appeared on stage and delivered this year’s SPM analytics (100% passing rate, 37 straight A students out of 180 candidates and an average grade of 1.7) while I was hopping from foot to foot feeling dizzy and nauseous and a bajilion feelings all at once. And right at the moment when I thought I was going to vomit on everything she loved, she started announcing results and my name was called and I started to melt into myself right then and there.

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I was filled with such relief and started crying and I’ve done it. I don’t know how I did it but I did. Until now, I am still baffled. Grateful, of course, but semi-baffled.

It’s been an overwhelming day of endless kaleidoscopes of emotions, but I am thankful, and I am happy. I am thankful for everyone who has ever assisted me along the way, both directly and indirectly. And to those who are sad, it’s going to be okay. You can’t remain sad forever as you watch silver linings headed your way.

Did I tell you this post was going to be cheesy? No? Sorry.

Thank you.

Published by

Michelle Teoh

26-year-old cynical Asian, book enthusiast and purveyor of fine sarcasm.

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