y’know i can justify why and where this low self-esteem came from. it is a product of daily interactions with other human beings. contrary to popular belief, it is not something one chooses to have and can be discarded with a simple one-sentenced advice of “be more confident”. it is not romantic or something that makes you a “special snowflake”. it is utterly terrible and destructive and the worst part is, it is wholly ingrained in you and it takes a huge amount of effort to even dig it out and trash it. and thus it stays with you, for a very, very long time.
as mentioned, it is the product of interactions with other people you see everyday. why is it that i always end up saying the wrong things? what did i do differently that these people choose to stay away from me? why do i second guess and analyse everything in conversations? what should i do instead if mirroring other people’s actions won’t garner the same results for me as it is for them? why is it i invest and depend so much on other people? why can’t i allow myself the ability and trust to believe and depend on myself?
i am grateful. truly i am. i think i am just afraid the people i love will not be able to stand my shit and leave me. and that is truly the greatest fear of all.
michelle teoh 
No matter what your friends will always be by your side. Come on, you were one of my favourite people from Asma!