In the world’s comprehensive list of ridiculous things to do, this probably doesn’t even make the cut on the draft list. But it’s the most bizarre thing I’ve done, which says a lot about my life considering the most interesting I’ve done prior to this is wake up at 3AM to watch the Olympics. Haha. Laugh at my life.
I can’t pinpoint the exact moment when thoughts about results day tomorrow started to overwhelm me, perhaps it was an accumulation of nerves over the weekend, perhaps I saw/heard something that reminded me of what was happening tomorrow. Whatever it was, it’s not surprising at all that results day was the only thing I could think of the entire day in school. During lunchtime, I swapped my carbonara for Taliza’s fried rice because I thought the cream was making me feel sick but in the end I realise food in general was making me feel sick.
And then I came back to SMR and figured the only physical object that could make me happy right then was ice cream so I went down to 7-11 to buy a Cornetto and like the pretentious idiot I am, sat by the pool staring into the distance watching a shirtless white dude type away on his phone. And then I texted Bellyn asking if she wanted ice cream as well and when she came down she said, “Jump into the pool” and I said, “What” and then the “What” slowly became an “Okay, why not” and I was in disbelief of what I was about to do because as I mentioned, I’d never jumped into a pool fully clothed and unplanned before. And there were also people in Lunchbox. And I was jumping into this pool. For real. What.
The moment right before I hit the water surface was a burst of clarity. The entire thing, honestly, the rush of adrenaline, the exhilaration of spontaneity, the just-doing and not-thinking. I didn’t realise how fogged and clogged up my brain was over worrying the entire day, and I seriously don’t know how this works, I seriously don’t know how the mind works or how circumstances of life in general work, but I felt a lot lighter after emerging from the pool (metaphorically, of course, because wet clothes are pretty darn heavy). If I were to use an analogy, it’d be like being trapped in snow globe, and the walls of the snow globe are filled with clouded moss so you can’t look out of the globe. And then as you jump into the pool, the snow globe gives a little shake, and the mosses dislocate from the walls and fall as accumulated sediments onto the ground, still there, but at least not preventing light from penetrating through the glass walls. Kind of like eutrophication.
Thank you, Bellyn. And yes, I agree, the world is pretty amazing.
Post-scriptum: Good luck to everyone getting their A-Levels results tomorrow!