long hours of travelling without anything substantial to do and being in a foreign country with no fixed comfort home to go back to at the end of the day have always been triggers for my anxiety, making the notion of travelling unappealing in every aspect (even more so if it involves flying).
but i’m really glad i did not let this fear stop me. i’m really glad i flew to all the places i did during summer with family and friends. i’m also really glad that despite the tight schedule of squeezing multiple destinations within one reading week coupled with little to almost no rest in between, i agreed to go on two 4-hour train rides by myself to scotland to meet up with friends from various periods of my life (and then feeling bizarre seeing them together but amazingly so) and pay visits to picturesque scottish cities that made me fall in love with them at first sight, as well as saying yes to impulsively hopping onto a plane to amsterdam with my friends the very same day i came back from scotland, falling in love with the breathtakingly beautiful city of amsterdam all over again after three years and creating brand new experiences and stories that will last a lifetime with my bunch of friends.
i could’ve said no so many times. i could’ve backed out like i usually did whenever i was tired. but i didn’t, and i’m really, really glad about that. i’m so overwhelmed with the power the word “yes” can afford to bring, with a little courage and optimism, after such a long time of sheltering myself from everything.
now, lying on my bed back in manchester, i can only say that the past week felt so surreal. it felt like the events of last week were leaps upon leaps upon leaps and the view from the top was more gratifying than i’d expected, despite my fear of heights. was i really on a cruise through the dutch canals just last night? did i really go out and do all those things, visit all those places, meet all those people?
this is one of those rare moments where i find myself cornily falling in love with the world and what it has to offer.