Insightful Moments

This week has been pretty eventful, I must confess, no matter how hectic it has been. I got sick with an irritating flu, followed by an even more irritating cough and had to skip school on Monday. I don’t know what’s been going on with me lately, but I’ve been looking at things that I’ve been previously scoffing at at an entirely new light. Insight or simply sentimental? I don’t know.

So I was watching American Idol last night, and those who know me on Facebook might have seen me quoting on FB that the show “brings out the worse in people.” But last night, maybe because it was 11.45 PM and I had just finished 13 pages of Sejarah notes, or maybe it was purposely exaggerated by the show’s producers, but when this guy won the golden ticket (Matt Lawrence or something, who had a criminal record when he was fifteen) and his family was hugging him and everything, I was thinking that he had won the challenge gloriously, and he completely deserved it. I was shocked at myself. Me, who constantly jeered at the predictable show, being all teary for someone on audition?

Another thing that I discovered today, something that really, seriously surprised me, is that I kind of like to teach. I’m gonna be all, “IKR? TISSRSLYBAD!” because I hatehatehate teaching. Well, I used to. At Science tuition, I was staring at Alan when he was writing stuff on the board and I kinda pictured myself in his shoes, and what’s more, I went through a 30-minute tutor with Intan this morning about Sejarah, and I quite liked it. Totally not sure why, but that’s the way things turned out for me.

Today was also the first time I joined a ‘kawat’ squad. It looked easy for Soya and the rest, but it was seriously HARD. My arms were never straight and okay, I looked and walked like a robot. And I got my synchronisation all poo. So when I got into my car, I was describing my first kawat experience to mum, and she added her own anecdote, saying stuff like how she’s Head of all Penang’s high schools’ marching squads and Head Prefect and Head everything. I used to sneer at my mum when she starts to launch into her glorious old days, but now, as I listen intently, I realise she’s almost everything I ever wanted to be, but I could never be like her, because I didn’t have the passion and spirit. And diasappointment engulfed me as I realise I have failed my mum.

I don’t know what these little scenarios mean, but I hope it’s for the best.


PS. Getting braces tomorrow. Should I be scared or excited?

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Michelle Teoh

26-year-old cynical Asian, book enthusiast and purveyor of fine sarcasm.

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