Michelle Teoh Vs the World

I think I pretty much promised a post yesterday but I wasn’t in the mood because Heart fell ill and I was worried sick and cue the tears were flowing the whole day. Before you ask what happened, read this. Thankfully, Dad brought him to the vet today and he’s been eating so we’re assured he’s better now which is a huge relief.

So today is the first day of school! Well, technically it’s not a “school day” because of the extra one-day holiday because Malaysia won in some kind of football match that Indonesia are rioting and rebelling against apparently. Football is the stupidest thing to get worked up over with. It is just a sport, goddammit. Anyway, it’s not really a “school day” but attendance is compulsory because it’s registration day for everyone and orientation day for Form 1 & Form 4 students. Waking up early in the morning is a bitch after sleeping in until midday almost everyday, but still I got my lazy arse up and moving and went to school and stood in my one-size-too-small shoes the whole day and came home with two blisters on my toes.

Yep, that sums up my day pretty well.

Oh and Yu Han reminded me that we had Mandarin tuition tonight (I’m not taking up Mandarin for SPM but I’m still taking tuition classes you mad) and all of a sudden it was like having someone splash a bucket of cold water over me and I realised my holidays were officially over, and gone were the days of pure joy and laughter and having no worries at all and watching TV series every other night or movies late into the night and hello tuitions, nodding off in class, finger callouses, mountains of homework and damn this is going to be a horrible year and I know it’s only been the second day of 2011 but I would give anything to go back and relive 2010.

Time seems to be racing on a rocketship because I’m already sixteen and soon I’ll be seventeen and then I’ll be a grown up and I don’t think I’m ready to be a grown up. It feels like I’m being robbed of my early teenage years, whatever happened to them? I can’t seem to remember anything apart from roller coaster rides up and down without anything really sticking in my memory. Soon I won’t be able to act like the little kid I was anymore, flipping heck, I shouldn’t be acting like a kid anymore because I will have to be on my own someday and all this talk about me going overseas and studying and living alone doesn’t seem like such a fairytale anymore, in fact it sounds frightening and all I can think of is preparing and toughening myself for what lies ahead in the future, no matter how clichéd that sounds because it’s the truth and I really don’t want to face what’s coming for me with indifference and ignorance, followed by the definite helplessness and panic.

Okay well those are just my thoughts.

Signing off to get some food into me because that’s what keeps me from getting all sad and teary and depressed.

PS, you should watch Scott Pilgrim Vs the World if you haven’t already. Movie recommendation for the new year!

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Michelle Teoh

26-year-old cynical Asian, book enthusiast and purveyor of fine sarcasm.

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