Michelle’s Review on HP DH Part II

  • Wow Warner Brothers logo wow this is awesome wow
  • SNAPE
  • Gloomy Hogwarts
  • HARRY, RON AND HERMIONE
  • Bill and Fleur
  • HARRY, RON AND HERMIONE
  • Goblin
  • …what are they talking about
  • *zones out*
  • Harry, Ron and Hermione are still talking to the goblin
  • Spooky goblin face
  • Goblin
  • Old man
  • Very, very old man
  • Something about the Deathly Hallows
  • …still talking
  • …still talking
  • FINALLY LEAVING
  • Ooh suspense music
  • HERMIONE IS BELLATRIX
  • Hermione!Bellatrix has great hair
  • “Good morning.” “Good morning?! You’re Bellatrix Lestrange, not some dewy-eyed schoolgirl!”
  • Deduction: Psycho!Bellatrix > Hermione!Bellatrix
  • Hermione!Bellatrix trips in heels hahahahahahahaha
  • More goblins
  • Oh no oh no oh no they know
  • IMPERIO
  • Oh thank God
  • Ooh coach ride that would be awesome in 3D
  • *drop*
  • Hermione!Bellatrix is Hermione again
  • …in a very revealing costume *cough*
  • Bellatrix’s vault is opened
  • Ron touches something
  • EXPLODE
  • SUSPENSE MUSIC OH GOD WHAT IS THIS RUN HARRY RUN
  • HAAAAAARRRRRRYYYYYYYY 😦
  • Dramatic pause
  • HAAAAAARRRRRRYYYYYYYY 😀
  • RUN HARRY RUN
  • RUN RON RUN
  • RUN HERMIONE RUN
  • Goblin: “I never said anything about getting you out.”
  • Dragon
  • Bad dragon
  • …who turned out to save the day…or just three of them
  • SHIRTLESS DANRAD AND RUPERT
  • Harry: “We must go back to Hogwarts! We must we must we must!”
  • Almost got killed as soon as they reached Hogwarts
  • Saved by Holy-Cow-that-looks-like-Dumbledore!-look-alike
  • Harry: “We must get into Hogwarts! We must we must we must!”
  • Magicked painting and here comes…
  • GODLY HUMAN BEING IN THE SHAPE OF NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM
  • Neville: “SURPRISE!”
  • Everyone: “ZOMGWTFBBQ IT’S HARRI POTTAHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!”
  • Harry: “I need to find something.”
  • Seamus: “What is it?”
  • Harry: “I don’t know.”
  • Dean: “Where is it?”
  • Harry: “I don’t know.”
  • SUDDEN SCHOOL ASSEMBLY
  • WILD SNAPE APPEARS
  • Snape: “WHERE IS HARRI POTTAH?”
  • WILD HARRY APPEARS
  • WILD MINERVA MCGONAGALL APPEARS
  • INTENSE FIGHT !!!
  • FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
  • MINERVA MCGONAGALL THAT BAMF
  • CHAOS IN HOGWARTS
  • Harry finds a ghost
  • Ron and Hermione go for a secret date in the Chamber of Secrets
  • Hermione kills a Horcrux
  • Then
  • AWKWARD KISS
  • WILD VOLDEMORT APPEARS WITH 34278932759384759347624869348939432 PEOPLE IN HIS ARMY
  • CLOSE UP SCENE OF VOLDEMORT’S FACE
  • VOLDEMORT
  • VOLDEMORT
  • VOLDEMORT
  • ATTACK !!!
  • Harry and ghost still digging for a sob story
  • Harry finds out where the diadem is !!!
  • Harry runs !!!
  • Harry finds the diadem !!!
  • MALFOY
  • MALFOY
  • MALFOY
  • (Just thought that Malfoy deserved three bulletpoints to himself for no apparent reason)
  • Ron and Hermione finds Harry
  • “THAT’S MY GIRLFRIEND, YOU NUMPTIES!”
  • FIRE
  • RUN !!!
  • HARRY RESCUES MALFOY AND GOYLE
  • (AWWWW)
  • Harry: “The last horcrux is the snake!”
  • “Oh Voldemort, where art thou?”
  • RANDOM HARRY/GINNY KISS (Because it really was that random)
  • Snape and Voldy!
  • “I must kill you, Severus.”
  •  DON’T CRY
  • *stabs*
  • DON’T FREAKING CRY
  • “Nagini, kill him.”
  • *muffled noises of Snape struggling*
  • CRY
  • “Take my tears.”
  • CRY EVEN MORE
  • Fred, Tonks and Remus’s dead bodies
  • CRY A WHOLE RIVER
  • Harry watches Snape’s memories
  • CRY THE WHOLE WAY THROUGH
  • “I must die.”
  • Lonely walk to the forest
  • Lily, James, Sirius and Remus resurrected
  • “You’ll stay with me?”
  • “Always.”
  • SUSPENSE
  • Voldy: “I thought he would have come…”
  • DRAMTIC PAUSE
  • Harry: “TA-DA!”
  • DRAMATIC PAUSE AGAIN
  • “Harry Potter, the boy who lived…come to DIE.”
  • DRAMATIC PAUSE FOR ABOUT 3.6 MINUTES
  • “AVADA KEDAVRA!”
  • AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
  • Ooh, wild cute Danrad appears
  • Naked, bloody Voldemort
  • Dumbledore! 😀 😀 😀
  • *insert philosophical paragraphs here*
  • SUSPENSE MUSIC
  • VOLDEMORT
  • “Is he dead?”
  • Narcissa: “Yes.”
  • Voldy and the gang march to Hogwarts
  • “Harry Potter is dead!”
  • VOLDY’S AWKWARD LAUGH
  • VOLDY AND DRACO AWKWARD HUG
  • NEVILLE
  • SWORD
  • SNAKE
  • HARRY– ALIVE!
  • 😀 for everyone
  • 😦 for Voldy
  • FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
  • “NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!”
  • WIZARD. LIGHTNING. BATTLE.
  • SNAKE
  • NEVILLE
  • SWORD
  • STRIKE!
  • HEARTBROKEN VOLDY </////3 😥
  • VOLDY’S WAND CHEATS ON HIM FOR HARRY
  • VOLDY DIES IN A VERY STRANGE AND WEIRD WAY
  • HARRY POTTER WINS !!!
  • CEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELEBRATE GOOD TIMES COME ON!
  • HUGS AND KISSES (XOXO)
  • Harry, Ron and Hermione take a stroll
  • Harry breaks the Elder Wand
  • Ron & Hermione: *le gasp*
  • Harry: “U mad?”
  • NINETEEN YEARS LATER
  • DEJA VU
  • Old Harry Potter
  • Old Ginny Weasley
  • Three Harry/Ginny look-alikes
  • Old Draco Malfoy and his on-screen wife/off-screen girlfriend
  • Old Hermione Granger
  • Old Ron Weasley
  • Albus Severus Potter (Why couldn’t they just have called him Albus Potter, it’s such a mouthful)
  • Fatherly advice from father to son
  • Old Harry Potter Committee wave goodbye to their kids
  • THE END

(Wow, Michelle, you’re hilarious. And okay, fine, fine, serious review coming up next.)

Published by

Michelle Teoh

24-year-old cynical Asian, book enthusiast and purveyor of fine sarcasm.

16 thoughts on “Michelle’s Review on HP DH Part II”

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