The Same Tricks That Once Fooled Me

So this morning I woke up feeling pretty shite.

My stomach started churning and after changing into my long-time-no-see uniform, I went down and could only stuff in a mini doughnut and even that threatened to make its appearance at all times. And then it was a matter of waiting for my dad to come home from the hospital. Of course, Aunty Wendy and the rest of my relatives were pretty convinced I would do well because well let’s face it that’s what everyone expects from me. The thing is, the more encouragement I get the more nervous I become.

When I got to school pretty much everyone was already there and I found a place to sit at the very front next to Hanum. I think I arrived at the perfect time because just a few minutes after that, the headmistress came onto the stage and said that she will only call out the names of those who got 8As and they’ll have to go up the stage and get their own result slips so you know cold sweat was accumulating and I felt sick but not as sick as I did after the Headmistress called out “Low Jia Huan” because I’m the next name on the list and the moment she mentioned “Mi-” my heart sagged to the bottom in relief and dear God the relief of not letting down or disappointing anyone was overwhelming.

And then we went out to get some pictures and this dude took a picture of me, Hoi Chin & Mak Teh and he says he works for The Star so you can look out for our picture in the paper tomorrow.

Congrats to all of you who got what you expected. And to those who didn’t, don’t worry, it’s just a little shit, PMR that is. It’s not important. It’s not your death date. You haven’t lost, and neither is everything else. You still have a bright future ahead, don’t let this stop you from doing your best. The disappointment only lasts for a while, everything will be forgotten eventually, and the trick is not giving a hoot and just be the true and genuine individual you are. You are all bloody amazing, never forget that.

I suck at consoling, but that’s about the most “inspirational speech” I can come up with to remind that all of you are winners in this grueling world.

All in all, today is a great day, and I’m going to Penang tomorrow so I’ll be asking for this and that, left and right.

PMR- Fifth (and Last) Day

Let me start off by saying today stretched on longer than any other day. Mandarin paper 2 was first and I spent too much time on the 2nd section. The long essay was okay, but we’ll see. Paper 1 was terrible, terrible, terrible. Oh well, Joey is going to have to keep to her promise and take me out to dinner once news come out I won’t get an A in Mandarin.

Anyway, after first paper we had a cake brought in for Shi Qian and we sang her a song and ate cake with kiwi toppings.

The end of PMR means time to make plans so


Charizard I choose you!

PMR- Third Day

I had a terrible dream last night, and long story short, I dreamt that I lost everyone I love and it was horrible, so I woke up feeling pretty bad.

I realised I haven’t really described in detail how PMR is carried out. I arrive at school at around 7.20am every morning, then catch a few cramming minutes at the canteen, where everyone is gathered before entering the school hall. The first paper is usually 8.10am so all of us queue up according to classes right at the very front of the canteen with Teacher Zarina trying to get us to shut up and the principal gives a speech thereafter. Then, we make way to the school hall.

Not gonna lie, I look forward to enter the school hall every time. It’s air conditioned, and for the first time in my three years of schooling in Asma School, I actually felt cold wearing my prefect uniform.

Science paper 1 was easy, I finished it very quickly.

After that we had an hour plus long break, and out of nowhere, I started to weep, but tried to pass it off as a runny nose. I didn’t know where this came from. I wasn’t mad, but I ignored my friends and felt hot-tempered. I just felt really, really sad and awful so I was quiet the whole time.

Science paper 2 was completely out of the syllabus, very unlike the format we had during out trial and previous exams, so, many freaked out and said it was really difficult, but to be honest I thought it was pretty okay, and that my answers made sense, syllabus or not so why wouldn’t they accept it?

Science paper 2 ended at 12pm, and we had lunch, rest, and studied until 2pm, where we were gathered once again before entering the hall. History started at 2.30pm and it was fairly easy too. I realised I’ve been very lax when sitting for my papers. Not really bothering to check again and again, convinced that I’ll manage to scrape a simple A anyway.

It’s Thursday and we’re on a break on Friday, Saturday and Sunday (we resume on Monday and Tuesday) which makes me slightly happy. Dad says I can get a day off today so I’m probably going to cut out some lyrics or make a collage later.

PS. Happy birthday, Shi Qian!

PMR- Second Day

Second day of PMR. (Woooo) Today was slightly more relaxed because it was only English and Geography.

JJ and Ean asked people Geography questions today. It seemed much more funnier now that I wasn’t flipping with wretched nerves on the ride to school.

English paper 1 was okay. When I got paper 2 and looked at the title of Section A, I got shocked. It was like primary school all over again, even Soya agrees with me. Five pictures in sequence, and the story was, get this, about a boy called Rahim who found a bag full of cash by the road, and SO, being the honest boy everyone writes him out to be, he takes the bag to the police station and the rest is predictable. The policeman praises him, goes to his school, his principal praised him again… WHY IS EVERYTHING SO BORING?

Literature question asks for a good quality in a character and I chose loyalty in Mr Utterson. This has been the third time all of us have written about loyalty during exams.

I finished Geography paper in 15 minutes I was surprised myself, and it wasn’t only me, Pei Fong finished right after I did. It was a piece of cake.

Science and History tomorrow. Somehow I don’t really want to care anymore.

PMR- First Day

Last night, I closed my eyes at 1.30am, but only slept at 3am because of those darned noises on the roof and my paranoia set me on edge. I thought it was a burglar waiting to crash into my windows any second, I was gripping my phone and contemplating running to my parents’ bedroom if this happens, so I just stared wide eyed at the window, scared as hell, until finally the noises stopped and I got too tired and fell asleep. But in the end it must’ve been some stupid cat or bird and I woke up at 6.45am feeling like my eyelids had dumbbells tied to it.

On the way to school, JJ and Ean were receiving phone calls from people, getting them to translate English sentences into Malay, in conjunction of us 15-year-olds sitting for PMR. (Wooo)

When I reached school, my stomach was flipping worse than ever, and I tried to steal a few minutes of cramming then walked into the hall. The first paper, Malay paper 1, was hard as hell. I felt so frustrated and unmotivated, I didn’t know half the questions in that paper, but I could only ignore it and focus on the next paper. The next paper, Malay paper 2 was far easier than I expected. Normally I would always be the last in the hall/room to finish it but this time I finished the paper with 40 minutes remaining.

Anyway tomorrow is English and Geography, so it’s much more relaxed, only English Lit to worry about. And I had a two hour nap just now so I should be fine for the rest of the day.