Life’s Little Tidbits – Page 6

March Resolutions

To make up for my lack of new year’s resolution, I shall make a list of March resolutions instead.

During the whole month of March, I will:

read more
write more
eat less
exercise more
stop secretly liking One Direction (cue the widening of eyes and series of gasps)

I will not:

consume medication unless it is absolutely necessary (health supplements not included)
get myself sick
start revision at the eleventh hour
buy any more books
procrastinate excessively
do anything that will make me regret it for the next consecutive days

That is all, unless I get anymore ideas later.

Also, I am aware that I forgot February’s Project More. I shall combine both February and March’s Project in one post.

Also, check out Aifa’s new post that made me feel all queasy and strange inside.

I was looking for old photos on my mum’s Facebook profile when I stumbled upon two albums that made me start. I found the first photo dated 9th June 2009 in my 14th birthday album and the second photo in the countdown to 2012 album. What made me start was how eerily similar both photos were. Jia Yuan and I (the one in the red shirt with her hair tied in a ponytail) were both on the same couch and I was wearing the same shirt in both photos. Both Jia Ying and Xin Tong’s poses and positions were also similar, and the most important thing is none of this was planned, obviously. When you come to think of it, it’s quite scary and wonderful at the same time.

Come Take A Walk On the Wild Side

I don’t usually like seminars, even ones that get me feeling all motivated (because said motivation will eventually evaporate by the time I enter the car) but the one I just attended today was mighty good and fun. Two speakers from Inti College, Vincent Tung and Faris were invited to give a talk on résumé writing as well as the proper etiquette while sitting through an interview. Besides the fact that the topic itself had already piqued my interest, Vincent, the main speaker of the day, was incredibly charismatic and managed to engage most of the students in the activities, despite the fact that there were about 300 people in the hall so it was a pretty good talk and I say it was a pretty good talk because I didn’t find myself looking at the clock every few minutes or so.

One of the aforementioned activities was having each group select a member among themselves and proceed to write a résumé for her. And the picture above, ladies and gentlemen, is Aifa, Anum, Lela, Benei, Eel, Eah and Diana’s résumé for me.

Just to clarify some points:

“Mysterious (silent but witty)” was Aifa’s idea. It was also brand new information to me. I am witty?
“Loves blogging (First class blogger by WordPress 2012)” was an exaggeration. WordPress didn’t give me a first class blogger award or title. It was a blog hosted by WordPress but created by three bloggers that gave me the award, and it wasn’t anything official or verified (though I am thankful for the award, I really am).
“A great violinist (Grade 7)”. I’m no great violinist but thank you, Anum, for thinking so highly of me.
“Smart (Top scorer- first in the form since Form 1)” isn’t totally true. Not in Form 3. And I doubt in Form 4 too.
“Has a great sense of humour” was Benei’s idea. *weak laugh*
“Fantastic debater (awarded Best Speaker in HELP Debate Competition)” should be corrected to “awarded Best Speaker in one of the preliminary rounds in HELP Debate Competition”. The “glory” has been reduced.
“Has a thing for British people” is kind of irrelevant here but SPOT ON.

To the people in my life: YOUR LIVES HAVE BEEN LIES!

But the narcissist in me thinks it’s nice knowing what people think of you. Thank you, homeskillets, for the wonderful résumé.

End of Innocence, Darkness of Man’s Heart

I found this little piece of paper slotted in between page 146 and 147 of Lord of the Flies yesterday. It took me quite a long time to realise the existence of this paper since I’d brought the book all the way back from PJ. Nevertheless, this little piece of paper made my day yesterday.

As you can see, I changed my blog theme…again. The reason behind this sudden, secondary overhauling can be contributed to my stumbling upon Mai Mergili’s WordPress blog. Mai is a 16-year-old Thai fashion and photography enthusiast who currently resides and studies in Germany who also takes wonderful photos which can be found on her new blog. Definitely worth a visit, if I should say so myself.

Back to the topic of books, I finished Lord of the Flies by William Golding today and thus this marks my 8th book of the year as you can see on the little Goodreads widget on the right. Despite the fact that I pretty much slugged through the first half of the book (I blame school for this!) I managed to pick up the pace when things turned disturbing and I managed to finish the rest of it today. By the end of it, I was stunned, more at the twisted plot than at the narration. Imagine if this is what Malaysian students have for literature study instead; it really makes you think.

And in the middle of them, with filthy body, matted hair and unwiped nose, Ralph wept for the end of innocence, the darkness of man’s heart, and the fall through the air of the true, wise friend called Piggy.

Chasing Cars Around Our Heads

524222183 — 30 more days. Let the games begin.

You know what’s magical? Snow Patrol, Birdy’s voice, clouds and Thursdays.

As usual, an apologetic explanation for my absence: I had exams last week and right after that, I fell sick. Again. That’s right, I fell sick twice in two weeks. I had food poisoning on Saturday, two days after exams ended, and until now, I still experience random bursts of nausea every now and then. It might sound like I’m pregnant but believe me, the only thing(s) I’m impregnated with right now are SPM facts which I cannot wait to deliver (and get absolute rid of) in nine months’ time.

As you can obviously see, Careful Confessions has been through an overhauling. Besides the theme and background change, I have also taken down the rating option for posts, as well as edited my about me and booklist page. I’ve also added this page to keep track of published works from my one-month stint at The Star last year. Quite a lot of effort has been put in to make this seem like a more personal blog to constantly remind myself not to stray too far away from what I don’t want to be, as clichéd as that sounds.

Life hasn’t changed. School has been busier than ever, especially with all the catching up since my absences from school. However, recently, I’ve been hit by an unexpected and totally random science fetish. If you follow me on my other social websites, you’ll know that I have occasional art fetishes which isn’t strange despite my inability to produce any kind of art worth admiring as I drew comics a lot when I was younger but this…science. The one word that can induce headaches at the very mention of it since last year, has now been an object of interest. And you know what? I blame SciShow and CrashCourse for this. (John and Hank Green, I owe you both my life for this.) Things are different when they turn from dull diagrams on white sheets of notes to vibrant animations in action. Suddenly, wave motions make perfect sense and are actually quite wonderful. The traits of carbon compounds give you insight into the brilliance of the existences of building blocks that make up everything and everyone. Sometimes, you even stop for a second to marvel at the way your heart works. Like what I said in my previous post, everything becomes clearer and more incredible when you realise that what we are learning are actually real, are actually ordinary daily phenomenons around us that work in extraordinary ways.

Of course, ask me again if I think waves are amazing and splendid in two months’ time and all you’ll probably get is a snap to shut your trap. Ah, the wonderful Malaysian education system that manages to turn every high school student into an emotionless robot.

On a way happier note, The Hunger Games movie officially releases in 30 days! What’s more, I’ll be watching it with Ann-Marie in Penang. This is probably the only thing on my Anticipation List.

Now that this post is made, I think it’s safe to conclude that my blogging muse has returned. Time to get this spiffy white blog page moving!

The Charade

You want me to be honest? Life isn’t a good “person”. It constantly gives me the illusion that it is but if you really look at it closely, it is far from it. Everyday, I draw imaginary schedules in my brain, organising everything into order with a sense of optimism but life never follows aforementioned schedule. It runs all over the place causing a stampede, leaving me to clean up the mess, a broken doll by the end of the day. The next day, the cycle starts again and the optimistic-despair loop repeats itself throughout my whole life.

You want me to be honest? I don’t understand why feelings and emotions exist. Feelings like sorrow, jealousy, hatred and even joy. Why does listening to a certain song or overhearing a backstab plan evoke such strong feelings? Why do they need to exist and turn us into monsters? Wouldn’t it be great if we could all be soulless, unemotional creatures? Everything would go smoothly without our feelings getting in the way.

You want me to be honest? I am getting really, really fed up with school. Not just the schoolwork, exams and pressure, but also the people. Being in school is draining, but believe it or not, I put on happy facades to appease everyone. But I’m tired of being “the good one”. I’m getting sick and tired of people pushing me around, treating me like a dispensable utility. Sometimes, I want to punish them for the wounds they’d inflicted but I never do because I’m “the good one”. It’s worse than being isolated and alone, and I can’t call anyone a friend anymore. I’d like to say none of my issues with people are actually personal but no, most of them are personal and I know c’est la vie but foutre la vie.

You want me to be honest? We’re all stupid studying. We don’t know what we’re studying and that frustrates me to no end. In the span of a week, I’ve learned more watching scientific videos on Youtube compared to a year of facing blackboards and textbooks and notes in classes and tuitions. It’s as if what we’re studying has nothing to do with every little thing around us when in actual fact, it does. When you stop to realise it, things get so much clearer but in Malaysia, we’re not trained to think like that, and it frustrates me.

You want me to be honest? These things don’t matter. No one cares. Life goes on.

Green & Pink

I particularly love my braces today because besides sporting brand new flashy colours after two months of black and white (I got white-only braces before this but I didn’t post about it because of the whole too-busy-to-blog ordeal), I got pink chain rubbers which, apparently, are new arrivals, so I could barely stop grinning the whole day.

The doctor also said that I’m a “castry” (this isn’t the right word for it but it sounded like “castry” anyway so attn dental students, help?) patient, that’s why there’s always a gap (albeit a small one now) between the top and bottom rows of my teeth. He said he’d have to check if the closed gap between the two rows open again during the next appointment and if they don’t, then I’m on my way to getting these metal things off. Yay!

Nothing Is Magical Anymore

Mommy dearest, father dearest, yours truly and 93-year-old grandpa dearest.

The title really gives you insight into how my Chinese New Year went by, doesn’t it?

To make a comparison, Chinese New Year for Michelle the young child was always the ultimate climax of the year, and I was never disappointed. I was always so happy to be around my family, especially my cousins. I got to wear pretty new clothes and receive many angpaus. Even the atmosphere was obviously different. There used to be a special buzz in the air on the first day of Chinese New Year, and if I was lucky enough, on the second, third and fourth day too. I wish I could remember enough to put my long-gone ecstasy into words but times have changed drastically and it was as if I’ve shed the wings of magickery as I walked the Trails of Growing Up. That’s the worst pain of growing up: you start to see things and people as they really are, and your heart aches when you realise that some things and people were never as great and wonderful as you’d always thought them out to be. The Warlock of Age starts to wave the banner bearing the words “Congratulations! You are now able to see the rotten side of creation!” in your face.

Here, I even made a graph to make things clearer for you:

To be fair, this year’s Chinese New Year wasn’t bad. It certainly wasn’t the merriest, but it wasn’t bad. I’d learned to accept the fact that things won’t be as bubbly and magical as they were seven years ago. I had fun. The highlight of the week was definitely Soo Pei and Soo May’s temporary return from England and KL respectively. Besides, the fact that I had a break from school for a week was already a sunny upside.

Speaking of school…ah, school. What else can I say? Only in Sultanah Asma School, you have waktu wajib for an hour after school ends, break for less than half an hour, and then it’s back to kepong classes for one and a half hour (or two hours and fifteen minutes for Physics), which means that school ends at 5PM everyday for all of us Form Fives. Back at home, I barely have time to sit down before I’m shipped away to tuition classes again. Considering the amount of time (or lack thereof) we have each day, you’d think that at least we wouldn’t have much homework to bring back home and if you’re thinking that then HAHA! WRONG GUESS!

Some days, I just want to sing Pressure by Paramore at the top of my lungs and forget everything else.

In and Out of Purpose

Contrary to past experiences, I know what this feeling is. It’s been missing from my life for quite some time now and that is good but now that it’s back I don’t know what to do. Nothing’s happened. Nothing’s changed. But it came anyway, and I’m trying to look for a way out without being a bother to anyone else. That’s why I’m here. This is all so stupid, stupid, stupid.

EDIT: 10:18 PM; Sometimes when I’m feeling inexplicably sad like today, I like to think it’s because in that moment, I am connected to the world, to its pain and suffering and loss, and then I feel better knowing that I’m siphoning the world’s sadness into myself, and because of that, the level of negativity in the world decreases and the world is a happier place, despite my sadness.

Project More- January

I am aware that I have not blogged for almost two weeks now, but I have good reason not to do so. What with my grandaunt’s funeral followed by Chinese New Year immediately after that and being sick in between, I didn’t really have the time and motivation to blog. Hence, this post is somewhat of a result of forced motivation since today’s the last day of January and I still haven’t done this month’s recommendations yet.

Before I continue, What is Project More?

January Recommendations

ROOM by EMMA DONOGHUE

Room tells the story of 5-year-old Jack, who has lived all five years of his life in Room, an eleven-by-eleven garden shed, with Ma. In the morning, he has breakfast cooked by Ma on Stove, then they do exercises on Rug or read a book or two in the afternoon but his favourite past time is watching Dora the Explorer on Television. At night, he enters Wardrobe to Switch Off when Old Nick comes to see Ma, because he is often uncomfortable with the creaks and the grunts that ensue with Old Nick’s arrival. He thinks Old Nick is hurting Ma, but Ma never complains.

Narrated from the perspective of a child who thinks Room is the whole world, this novel is hauntingly beautiful as we witness the transformation of an innocent soul when Jack starts to learn that the people in Television are actually real, the small piece of Skyline he sees through the window is not all there is and that both Ma and him are actually trapped in this eleven-by-eleven foot space…forever.

Apparently inspired by the real-life Josef Fritzl case, Room was a stunner for me. This book is highly disturbing, made even more so by the fact that we’re reading it through the eyes of a 5-year-old who questions everything in life (or Room). When you put the book down to really think about it, it’s a horrible string of events Jack is facing- but he doesn’t know it, which makes the heartache worse as you silently weep for Jack’s fate.

This is a book that will not only tug at your heartstrings, but tear them into shreds and stomp on them repeatedly.

Rating: 4/5

Also, a side recommendation to make up for my absence:

TIME TO REPLY- CHARLIE MCDONNELL

I have to say, I was overwhelmed with emotions when I heard this song for the first time. I don’t care about the critics, I’m giving this full stars because it is awfully relatable. Ever sat in front of your computer sifting through the life of that one person to find that they are surprisingly delightful? Ever waited for that one person to reply to your comment on Facebook or tweet on Twitter? There’s that giddy climactic feeling you get when you do, and then there’s the anti-climax of it all. With time, there comes change and despite the sourness, you have no choice but to let go. I don’t know if this song is also an insight to Charlie’s current life, because if it is, then ahem.

I find we’ve so much in common,
How weird can it be?
That I feel I know you,
Though you don’t know me.

Rating: I said, “full stars”.

PS. A post about what really happened while I was away coming right up, worry not.

First Class Blogger Award

Subtitled: Careful Confessions’ Readers Appreciation Post/Blog ’12

I received an email yesterday that began like this:

Congratulations Michelle!

Your blog, Careful Confessions has been selected to receive the First Class Blogger Award. Your blog was chosen by a committee of three bloggers who feel Careful Confessions exemplifies what a great blog can be. It is our belief that first class blogs are more about the effort and time the owner puts into their blog and less about its page rank or number of visitors it gets.

Needless to say, I was beyond baffled because I didn’t remember signing up for anything like this. And then I realised my blog was chosen, which blew my mind even more. Suddenly, I felt like Harry Potter or Ash Ketchum.

Thank you, First Class Blogger Committee for establishing such a committee at all and giving me this award of excellence which I still don’t think I deserve. But I’m glad there are people who enjoy reading my blog enough to present me with an award. I am more than honoured to receive it.

I would also like to take this chance to thank all my readers for, well, reading. Your views have been great encouragements for me to continue with this blogging effort. Granted, all I ever talk about is my school life, my books, my dogs and me but thank you for taking the time to read about…me. I just put whatever thoughts and feelings I cannot express in real life into words here so you can understand more about…me. Not the most informative or even relatively entertaining blog in the world, but thank you for caring, anyway. I love all of you.

*ends acceptance speech by shedding proud tears while blowing kisses into an imaginary crowd of spectators*

http://firstclassaward.wordpress.com

I Can’t Ignore This War

At the end of it all,
Who am I living for?

(Translation: I am born → Kindergarten years → Primary school years → Obtain 7As in UPSR → Get into Cluster School SMKSA → Study hard and obtain 8As in PMR → Study harder and obtain 14A1 in SPM → Further studies in Melbourne or London → Take up English Literature course → Publish my first book → Start a book series (think the Harry Potter franchise) → Win a “Bestsellers Award” (unfortunately for 14-year-old me, it doesn’t exist) → Find someone to settle down with → Give birth to kids who in turn give birth to more grandkids → Live happily ever after.)

I was randomly going through old school stuff when I stumbled upon my Sivik workbook in Form 2 in which I found this flowchart of my planned future written by a 14-year-old self three years ago. Besides the incredulity and hilarity, I also felt kind of sad. Number one: because I realised the high hopes we had when we were young are just that, hopes. To think that I once wanted to take up 14 subjects and get all straight A pluses! Of course, I’m not saying that I don’t want that now, but I still think getting more As doesn’t make you cleverer than everyone else. Contrary to what was pointed out during an SPM seminar I attended in school last Saturday, I still think a student who gets 13As isn’t stupider than a student who gets 14As, and vice versa. It’s sad how everyone judges everyone by the number of As one gets. If anything, the additional subjects you take up might not even be related to your future career so really, what is the point?

Being 14 years old must really be a bliss. No real worrying about the future yet; actually thinking that I am able to pursue language as a major course; no one to stop me from dreaming big, and when I say big, I really mean big.

Number two: the future I had planned for my life sounded dead. Acing all the exams, taking up my favourite courses, winning all the awards, start a great family and live happily ever after.

It’s always up, up, up, win, win, win.

Your whole life is only about achievements and nothing else. Dead achievements.

And to be honest, that’s how my real life is turning into now. I’m turning into a robot programmed to take this exam, take that exam, and get As or distinctions in all of them. There’s nothing else that matters more than doing good in these things because that’s only the right thing to do.

How I wish I’d inserted “start a pet shelter” or “travel around Europe with my parents” somewhere in that flowchart. That would’ve been nicer. Made it sound like I wasn’t defining my life through my exam results and topnotch career.

I can already see it you know, being that “topnotch” doctor or whatnot, living in a huge mansion, coming home from work everyday to a husband who works just as hard as I do, and also all the medals and trophies that declare my greatness.

I don’t want that life.

I’m being shameless when I say I’m most parents’ and teachers’ favourite because I do well in exams. I get top in class almost every year since I started school. It’s not an easy feat but I did it.

But do I take pride in it? It’s often a “no” for an answer.

When you start going up, there is no going down, because once you drop even a teeny bit, no one forgives you. And as you continue with the effort, you realise that you’re not doing all these for yourself, you’re doing these for others. You’re not living your life to please yourself, you’re living your life to please others. There is no point in anything else anymore because that’s what everyone expects of you. People look up to you and admire you — and they want you to stay there. There is no breathing space, no stop-and-rest station along the way. You want to be a writer? Hah, no way! Take up science and be a doctor instead!

Who doesn’t want to constantly get good grades? Who doesn’t want to get a good job and live a good life? It’s all very fine and dandy that one wants it –I want it, but I want it for myself. I can’t live a future that is constantly controlled by people other than myself. I can’t have people telling me I should be so-and-so when I grow up and making decisions for everything in my life. I am aware that I make wrong choices, but I’m seventeen, I’m old enough to make the most basic of decisions. And even if I do make the wrong decisions, that’s what falling and picking yourself up is all about, right?

Not doing good in school is a pain; doing really good in school is also a pain and they will always be pains when other people interfere. All I wish is for people to stop being too judgmental and controlling.

This was supposed to be an introspective post but now it’s turned into a ranting one. I apologise.

Introducing Project More and also a Couple of Other Stuff about Books

With a new year comes many aspirations and ambitions!

I was inspired by WordPress’s blogpost on blog projects so I decided that this year, Careful Confessions will not be filled with posts only about Michelle’s emotions and feelings and weird outlooks but also posts on Project More.

What is Project More?

The “More” in Project More is a combination of the words “monthly” and “recommendations” to form the phrase “monthly recommendations” and that is exactly what it is! Each month, a post will be dedicated to book, album and movie recommendations. Simple as.

I also like to think that Project More will be able to introduce more great books
(“more great books” and not “more great books”, just to clarify), music and movies to more people out there. Great things deserve to be shared with everyone else. So, stop tacky vampire YA novels, horrible teenybopper music and Razzies-worthy movies!

Of course, while everyone has their own opinions, and not everyone will agree with my recommendations, I would also like to make it known that this project is not created merely for other people; it’s created for myself too. Perhaps one day I might want to go through all these posts and re-indulge in the glory of each masterpiece; or guffaw at my different outlook then. Whatever it is, it’s totally fine if you’re not happy with these recommendations because you’re not obliged to like them and thus not obliged to express your extreme disagreement. I am okay with debates and discussions but comments like, “OH MY GOD THIS IS CLEARLY THE WORST BOOK RECOMMENDATION POSSIBLE GOD YOU ARE SO STUPID YOU NEED TO GET OFF THE INTERNET” will be happily ignored.

Just a little paranoid of negative feedback, is all.

If you haven’t noticed it yet, there is a little Goodreads’ 2012 Reading Challenge widget on the right sidebar and one of my 2012 resolutions is to read 50 books this year, as stated in aforementioned widget. It’s only 50 because this year is SPM year.

I would also like to announce two new pages to Careful Confessions:

The Next Change 2011 is the page about the YNN Camp I was talking about since a few posts ago. It is now up and running, complete with relevant photos and videos, so if you’d like to read about my 3-day job as a real videographer and that time I was almost killed by a durian, click the link above!
Michelle’s Booklist is exactly what it is, my booklist. It is a list of all the books I want or need to read and this booklist also corresponds to my Reading Challenge so you’ll know what books I’ve read for the challenge.

I know both the project and challenge will be sort of a hindrance because it’s SPM year and I shouldn’t be doing anything but studying for SPM…but that’s just it. I don’t want 2012 to be a year of studying only. Because contrary to what most of the teachers think, I personally don’t believe that SPM should take over an entire year of our lives. A year; there’s a lot of things you can do in year. Yes, SPM is greatly important, but I don’t want to succumb entirely to an examination. I want to be able to say that I’ve done something I like and am proud of by the end of the year (besides doing well in SPM, of course…but that’s not the point).

This is such a strange post. I’ve never blogged about this kind of thing before. Oh well, like they say, there’s always a first time for everything.

Little update on school: I have more or less gotten back some threads of motivation for the past few days. Ironically, I find being in Form 5 classes more comfortable and enjoyable than Form 4 classes. I’m even anticipating Add Math tuition later! The sheer horror of it!

Change

youre-really-asking-for-it — Michelle, at 6 in the morning.

“Adik, adik tingkatan berapa?”

“Um…tingkatan lima.”

The conversation above took place between a parent and I when I was assigned to usher parents who brought their Form 1 kids for registration today.

I actually hesitated for a few seconds before admitting that I was in Form 5. Which sounded absurd even to my ears at the time. Since when did I become a senior?

I’m not even exaggerating when I say it seems like just yesterday that I was the frightened little girl with short hair who was a ball of tangled nerves under the curious stares of everyone else the first day I stepped into Asma. And then I thought of my days back in 1 Kedah, 2 Asma, 3 Asma and 4 Negeri and where the heck did they go? They just flew past at the speed of light without warning. It was as if there was a huge gap between the moment I first entered secondary school and the moment right then. It couldn’t have been four years already. It just didn’t seem possible.

And throughout these four years, I’ve witnessed different batches of seniors preparing and finally sitting for SPM, and I’ve thought of the day I will be in their exact same shoes too, but the thought of it has always seemed vague and far away, almost light years away. And now it’s here and to be frank, it’s hard to think of myself as a senior. I’ve always been the one who needed taking care of, the child who needed help in almost everything she did, but now it seems that I can’t be that way anymore because I’m almost a grown-up now and I need to learn to grow up and be a lot of things I’m expected to be instead of what I am now. It still frightens me that I only have a year of being a kid left until I leave the house and my family to live alone in concrete jungles or wherever it is away from home.

I’m looking at the huge stacks of books with “SPM” labels on it which I have on my table right now, thinking that in 10 months time, all of this would be of no use, would be thrown away and never retrieved from the depths of the garbage pile again, and then that’s when my stint in Alor Setar would be over this time. It just doesn’t seem right.

Suddenly, I’m taking roads down memory lane back to the time of the internship, camp and even Christmas. Anything beats this right now.

I’m lacking the motivation and optimism I promised myself last year that I would have at the beginning of SPM year. Hopefully with just the right amount of tuitions and classes, I’ll be able to get into the right mood again.

On the bright side, at least I’m still in 5 Negeri, hey!

I would also like to thank God that I was born in 1995 and not 1996 because then I would have to study all three pure sciences and Add Math in Malay and be forced to take up Mandarin in SPM. Yes…you heard that right.

Are You Really Having A Happy New Year?

When people wish other people “Happy New Year!” do they really mean it? Are they really feeling happy when they do so? Are they really happy that a new year is here?

Because it’s pretty hypocritical that there are huge celebrations all over the world to welcome the new year. I’m pretty sure most people in the celebrating crowds aren’t even happy that a new year is arriving. It’s not even exactly a reasonable cause for celebration. Because after all the parties and celebrations, we stop rejoicing for a moment to realise that nothing’s changed. Nothing has gotten better. And yet we are celebrating it as if something good will happen every day. We wish each other happy new years but we all know it’s bullshit. What’s the point of wishing one a “happy” new year when you know it’s impossible to have a “happy” year? No matter what, shit will always happen to counter against these happy wishes. So really, what is the point?

If anything, New Year’s Eve should be spent introspecting and fixing paths for ourselves to take in the new year.

I don’t know. I’m not making sense. This frustration and crankiness is mostly due to fatigue and I’ll probably wake up tomorrow thinking that I’m being stupid now but I don’t really care. I normally wouldn’t post this kind of stuff here but Twitter is down and Facebook is the worst outlet possible to channel your emotions through so this will have to do.

You’re probably cursing my pessimism but I’m being honest when I say I don’t really have anything to look forward to in 2012. It’s just one of those moments when I’m too tired to even think. So I shall stop thinking. Yes.

Category: Life’s Little Tidbits