michelle teoh

It’s A Swamp!

Photos should be up later because the internet connection’s here not too good, but I assure you you’re not missing much.

(Edit: Photos can be found here and here.)

It rained non-stop from the 30th of October until the 1st of November, and the day after that, places in Jitra and Southern Thailand were flooded. I was supposed to go to a camp in Kuala Nerang the next day, but the roads were found flooded and blocked, so the programme was cancelled.

I guess you can say we were pretty much prepared for what was in store for us, since we went through a flood in 2005 too, in December. The water supply was cut off on 2nd Nov, and later I found out the whole Alor Setar (if not the whole Kedah) has run out of water supply too and people are buying mineral water left, right and center. We, for one, didn’t even think to make those preparations. We were pretty confident. 2005 wasn’t that bad, why would it be bad now?

Yesterday was the 3rd of November. We borrowed Uncle Guan’s pickup to round the neighbourhood, and there were some pretty terrible places that were completely swamped, like Taman Asas and Taman Malaysia. But what was really puzzling was that the area around the Raja’s Mini Store (which would usually be flooded along with the other low lying areas compared to my area at Taman Lumba Kuda and Taman Golf) was surprisingly dry when water was edging towards us already at my place. But we didn’t think too much, I mean, the electricity was still on, wasn’t it? Plus, my mum decided to stay in the house this time to watch over our properties instead of moving out like 5 years ago.

I admit, the first day was pretty fun. I mean, a flood! That means no school, and something interesting to gossip about. The electricity stayed on until around midnight last night, and we slept in darkness save for the emergency fan.

I was woken up by my parents this morning at 6am. My dad said the situation was getting too critical, and if we don’t move now, we won’t have the chance to anymore. So we were pretty much just groping around in the dark packing stuff and moving furniture while our eyes almost tried to close in sleepiness and it was huge bloody mess. We were sweating by the time we got everything and everyone out, then together with Aunty Ai Loon, Uncle Hoe and Aunty Amelia, we rode in Uncle Guan’s pickup to get the hell out of the neighbourhood -now a swamp. The water was so deep we barely made it out. As it is, my father proved to one hell of a driver and got us out safely.

After that, we went to Uncle Guan’s house, where we cleaned up and had a short nap. We thought the situation would get better, instead it took a turn for the worst. So we had to borrow a huge truck to get back to the house to rescue Golden, because the water was rising too rapidly and it would soon be too late. The roads at the T-junction to the Pumpong area was mostly closed and pretty empty save for a few evacuees and pickups and boats and trucks like ours. Remember what I said about some parts in the neighbourhood still completely dry? Now the whole place was completely wet. Absolutely everywhere. The area around Taman Jubli Perak was still pretty dry when we came out this morning but the water already reached Wisma Darulaman when we went in that afternoon at about 2pm.

Right then, all I could worry about was Golden, because Aunty Ai Chin said she saw 6 dead dog bodies floating that morning and I couldn’t help thinking about bad things my paranoia made me think. And when we went into the neighbourhood, it was like looking out to the sea. Everything was water, house, water, building, street lamp, water, and nothing else. And then I saw a dog’s body floating in one of the houses and everyone exclaimed in disgust and I couldn’t help it.

I cried.

I was sick with worry, paranoid of what I might find at my house.

So I was one of the first to climb down the truck, splashed through the water and to my house. And there I found Golden sitting on a bench, the ground completely flooded with water. I don’t know what’s wrong but I thought he looked pretty surprised and happy to see me. And then I don’t know, the tears started flowing. I was so glad he was safe, even though he never stopped barking at us, as if scolding us. Why did you leave me? Why did you leave me?

I’m sorry I’m not usually this emotional.

So we moved more things to higher ground, even though the water’s already flooded into the living room and the back kitchen. We grabbed some more important things, moved the cars to higher ground, grabbed Golden, acted as a rescue truck for many of our stranded neighbours and got out safely once more.

Once I was outside, I realised how frightening it was to be inside the taman. How trapped I actually felt all the time I was in there. Does this count as being traumatized? Because I’m pretty sure I’ve just seen something that could possibly change my perspective, if not forever then for now.

And if you’re just going to be horrible and say “Well, you’ve been through this 5 years ago? What are you worried about?”

Firstly, this time was definitely many times worse than in 2005. Secondly, I just saw dead bodies, even if they are animal bodies, floating around, and you’re asking me why I’m worried..you are in need of a doctor. Thirdly, this isn’t even the worst yet. The worst is about to come in these two days, because they’re saying they plan to release some more water from the dam, and the tides are getting higher. Fourthly, we are totally cut off from water supply. There are probably many more reasons but I’m too tired to remember them.

We saw many other residents planning to stay in their houses despite the flood, and I don’t know how they manage it waterless and powerless and feeling like a bug trapped in a cage. I don’t know how they do it, but God bless them.

I’m just so tired, today has been such chaos, moving stuff, wading in water and worrying. Just…pray Lord things don’t get worse.

Update on NaNoWriMo #1

Right now I am assuming people actually give a flying platypus about my NaNoWriMo. If you don’t, please leave I won’t mind.

So remember when I said I couldn’t find muse yesterday? Well, it’s not to say exactly that I did found my muse. My current story is more like an attempt at spontaneity than a well-planned storyline, like I usually have with my stories. At around 10pm last night, I began to feel desperate, and randomly groped for any stray ideas floating in my mind, and I did find one, from the series I was recently obsessed with, the Hunger Games, and I admit, my story is way too Hunger Games-ish I don’t even know if I like it or not, but since Katharine and Daphne have gotten me to continue, I decided not to abandon the idea. How about I just show you a screencap of the synopsis + excerpt of my story from my Nanowrimo profile.

(I actually do think my editing skills has improved…. *smirk*)

And yes, that is Kaya Scodelario. Now you know what I mean by my story being too Hunger Games-ish.

And to be perfectly honest, I have no real idea how this story is supposed to turn out, so now all I can hope for is that my brain does a miracle and supply me with the 374938759307503985402394750239754457659873245633 ideas I used to have when I’m daydreaming with a pencil in hand (or laptop in lap).

I only got to about 800+ words yesterday. And right now my word count is 1,849. I’m supposed to reach 3000+ words today. Gulp.

On a sidenote, and I completely digress, it has been raining non-stop for the past two days, and now it’s flooded in Anak Bukit and the water is bound to reach here sooner or later, so now I am basically crossing my fingers that the electricity stays on the whole while I’m on the computer (since the water supply is already slowly running out) and typical paranoid me has been clicking on the “Save” button every few seconds in case my laptop goes off suddenly (it’s battery-less and hangs on to life by merely a charger plus its wire, before you shout at me that laptops have batteries that can function even without current) and I lose everything I’ve torn my hair out in frustration to type out.

So guys wish me luck, both on my story and on the flood. And now, allow me to take a breather from writing and spend some quality time feasting my eyes on Dean Winchester.

Hello November

I don’t even know what to feel about the beginning of a new month. I just know the start November means…

NANOWRIMO!

For those who don’t know what on Earth that is, just copy and paste the whole word and Google it. Everything works with Google. Google is the boss.

You can say I am pretty much excited for Nano this year because I participated last year but didn’t get to finish my story because I went to NSCFL Camp and this year, even though I already have two bloody camps ahead of me, I am determined to finish my story.

…which is why I am flailing about now because I have completely no plot in mind it’s worse than writer’s block because my mind is this huge, clean, white slate and nothing seems to stick so I’ve been prowling about the house the whole day finding muse but no it won’t come and now I have to pray I’ll find ideas during camp tomorrow or something because I’m supposed to write 1,666 words at least for a day and now my word counter is one big fat zero.

Until I get my creative juices back, have a glimpse at the synopsis of my story from last year. Sad to say it’s not finished yet, and so far the only person who has read at least some parts of it is Sasha.

The cover is crap, but don’t judge because I wasn’t such a pro at image editing last year.

So yeah if anyone has any brilliant ideas feel free to tell me.

PS. See that little blue box at the right column? You can get updates on my word count there. (But of course right now it says zero, so.)

Breather

Everyone’s just bombarding me with lectures everyday about what is right and what is wrong and I’m not saying it’s not right to have people tell me that, it’s just that it would be great if everyone stopped. For a week or two. To give me some space and let me breathe and let me think and let me decide because everything is so confusing right now. I am still trying to change, believe me, I am, it’s just that it’s not easy being someone that everyone can love and accept. It’s different when you’re someone who has difficulty presenting themselves boldly in public. Everything needs time. And all I’m asking for is time.

Living Proof That The Camera’s Lying

Sasha gave me a flower on Sunday together with Perks and a lovely card. She is such a lovely person I want to marry her but she has a boyfriend. It was the first time anyone gave me flowers.

I’ve been listening to Paramore the whole week, and a week has already passed since I saw them live. A week since I had sores from headbanging, dancing and waving my arms like mad. A week since I sang at the top of my voice and actually saw Hayley Williams right in front of my eyes. How did a week pass so fast? Never did I stop returning to that night, when everything was perfect and flawless. Even Diyani says I look happier since returning from the concert. I guess this is what Sasha meant by ‘lifechanging’.

We had a meeting at my house last night, Jia Yuan, Yi Jing, Joey, Mi Xia, Wei Xing, Hui Xiong and Lian Kai, concerning the Standard 6 gathering Wei Xing had suggested and I certainly hope this time would be better than the last two years ago, when I came home feeling pretty terrible for some reason.

I had a very weird dream last night, and it has unhinged me for the whole day. Ellie and Elya says it’s just a dream and I hope so but I don’t know what feeling this is. I hope it goes away soon.

Paramore Live in Kuala Lumpur 2010

Note: I am sorry if the pictures are of terrible quality because I only had my phone with me at the time.

19th October 2010 has been one of my most anticipated dates this year, ever since Daphne told me Paramore is officially coming to Malaysia to perform for the first time. I bought the tickets off Ticketpro for RM242 and got Joshua to go with me.

Joshua and I reached the Bukit Jalil Stadium at 3pm, and waited at the very front of the gates until 6.30pm when the guards finally let us in. I know the tickets said “Doors open @ 7.00pm” but people were starting to chant “LET US IN!” and someone slipped in or something and even the guards couldn’t control everyone by then so everyone just started rushing in.

So after getting through the gates, it was a race of getting your ticket scanned, torn, having ladies giving out flyers, and reaching the entrance to the seats where you had to get your ticket and hand stamped. We were pretty much the first to reach the seats as we were first in the line at the gates after all. And then it’s another hour or so of waiting.

Then finally the lights went off and everyone gasped and got to their feet but it was the opening act, a local band called Y2K which, to be fairly honest, sucked. The female lead singer was actually trying to imitate Hayley by jumping around but I’m sorry no one beats Hayley Williams that easily. No one.

They performed about 5 songs and said, “I’m so sorry because I know you guys want to watch Paramore and we’re in the way” and I was like, “Yeah you are”, so they played their final song (which was not good actually) and they left the stage and we had to wait for another half hour, I think.

But the wait was worthwhile, because their entrance was spectacular. I started screaming like there was no tomorrow and it was definitely amazing no words could ever describe my adrenaline high.

Then the curtain dropped, and they started blasting Ignorance.

Courtesy of Huixian (Acoustic- Hayley + Josh)

Courtesy of Huixian (Acoustic- Hayley + Josh + Taylor)

Courtesy of Huixian (Someone threw her a plushie)

Courtesy of Huixian (Someone threw her a shirt too)

I think I screamed and cried and sang at the same time. It wasn’t just the song, I’ve heard it millions of times, although it was an upbeat number, it was the atmosphere, the crowd, the simple fact of looking –looking with my own naked eyes!– at Paramore, at Hayley Williams, Josh Farro, Zac Farro, Jeremy Davis and Taylor York with their guitars, drum and Hayley’s trademark red mic that set me off. Paramore! Right in front of my eyes! After years and years of just looking at photographs and salivating/drooling over them and how amazing they are. There was no need to think at all when I started singing. Everything came on its own, the tears, the lyrics, the screams. It was amazing. An entirely out-of-world experience.

The setlist for the show is as goes:

Ignorance
Feeling Sorry
That’s What You Get
For A Pessimist, I’m Pretty Optimistic
Emergency
Playing God
Careful
Decode
Let This Go (Acoustic)
When It Rains (Acoustic)
Where The Lines Overlap (Acoustic)
Misguided Ghosts (Acoustic)
Crushcrushcrush
Pressure
Looking Up
The Only Exception

Encore:

Brick By Boring Brick
Misery Business

When Hayley and Josh headed for a corner of the stage to sing Let This Go, I actually thought they would sing My Heart, you have no idea how much I want to hear Josh screaming. And at some point when Hayley was singing Misguided Ghosts, the mic broke. The mic broke. Malaysia, you and your shitty sound system! Hayley actually curtsied and ran to the back of the stage, leaving Josh and Taylor just sitting there and I was horrified if she was mad at the sound system or something and we started chanting “Paramore! Paramore!” and I was actually at the verge of tears. Elya said the mic even broke when Josh was singing When It Rains/Where The Lines Overlap. Are you actually kidding me? But eventually Hayley came back out front and started singing Crushcrushcrush and I was so glad and relieved I just couldn’t stop screaming.

At some point during Pressure, Hayley started introducing everyone in the band and oh my God I couldn’t stop screaming when Hayley called John the vocalist slash keyboardist slash man on the computer, Jeremy the bass player, Zac the youngest drummer, Taylor the Justin Timberlake of Paramore, Josh the lead guitarist, and finally Josh took the mic and said, “There’s only one member left of Paramore to introduce…the lead vocalist of Paramore, Hayley Williams!” And I thought I couldn’t scream anymore but apparently I could so I screamed some more. And when Jeremy flipped over Josh with his guitar, I swear I just screamed till I died. What do you do at a concert if you’re not screaming? Because everytime they started playing a new song I was basically screaming out the song, dancing, jumping, waving my hands, clapping, and headbanging. Forgetting everything else except the music, myself and the band on stage in that hour and a half was the best moment ever. Indulging. Forgetting the woes and troubles and just enjoying yourself to your very last cell. Pumped. Wanting for more. The feeling is just indescribable. For people, it might just seem like “another concert to go to on a fairly boring day” but to me, it actually means a lot. The world. It’s Paramore. They band I’ve been listening to for two years over and over again. It was the feeling of being in their presence. To jump and dance wildly along with them, forgetting every single thing, how silly you might actually look like or how terrible your singing might be, going into that zone where there is just you, the music and the band. It’s like the spotlight on your mundane life, a significant memory you would remember and cherish forever, the memory of being to your first concert to watch your favourite band, because it was the only night you truly felt happy and free, to just forget the world and live in your own for a while. It was amazing. I just can’t describe the immensity of ecstasy and euphoria through words.

When Hayley said the show was about to end, I wanted more. I didn’t want this moment to end, but end it did, with a very energetic Misery Business that made the crowd go crazy. Oh, and there was this guy who got called by Hayley to sing Misery Business together with her and if looks were daggers he would have been dead. And Hayley threw Zac’s drumsticks and Josh’s/Jeremy’s guitar pick and being the one who was about a metre away from the stage I wanted to tear my hair out in frustration. And then there was confetti. And then the lights went on, Paramore left the stage and the show ended.

Before you facepalm at my photos, here are the ones I stole from Elya’s Tumblr:

tumblr_lal45bJa8V1qa66g9o1_500 — When Josh introduced Hayley. <3"

tumblr_lal4p8xUTw1qatogxo1_500 — Hayley and Paramore's box set.

These were shots taken by Huixian’s friend, Keana, who was in the mosh pit and therefore got clear headshots and stuff.

tumblr_lal3nlMzBF1qatogxo1_500 (1) — Confetti everywhere

Courtesy of Huixian (Hayley jumped onto Josh to piggyback her aww adorbz)

Front Camera — The state I was in after the show. Sweaty, panting and exhausted, but ecstatic all the same.

After the show, I met up with Sasha and we both agreed the concert was so sick. No chance to meet up with Elya but there’ll always be a next time. Haziqah even said she saw me which was unexpected but put a smile on my face all the same.

Despite lining up for hours, the show was totally worth it. I probably should mention I came home with a hungover, feeling sick and dizzy, but it was worth it. No photos, autographs or merch but they’ll be back, I’m absolutely sure, and if they’re not, I’m flying over to meet them pronto. Despite the sore neck, back, arms, legs and throat, it was worth it.

IT WAS THE BEST SHOW/NIGHT EVER.

“Once you’re in the Paramore family, we’re never letting you out. You’re in for life!”

-Hayley Williams

The Hunger Games Trilogy

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS WHICH I DO NOT CARE TO HIDE SO IF YOU REALLY WANT TO READ THE SERIES ON YOUR OWN (WHICH I HIGHLY RECOMMEND) THAN YOU SHOULD STOP RIGHT NOW. EVEN THOUGH THIS MEANS NO ONE’S GOING TO READ THIS POST ANYWAY. OKAY.

NOTE: THIS POST IS FOR OWN PURPOSES (EG. PRESERVE MY SANITY) SO I WILL POSSIBLY WRITE A BUNCH OF CRAP DON’T MIND ME IF I DO SO.

I have heard people talk about how amazing The Hunger Games trilogy is a lot of times on Tumblr, and although I wasn’t entirely crazy about getting my hands of the books, I kept an eye out for it. That is, until one day Nikki saw me tweeting about wanting to read the trilogy and she tweeted back saying she has all three eBooks and asked if I wanted so of course I said yes with multiple exclamation marks after that. She sent them to me through email and I saved them on my phone, and started reading immediately.

It’s pretty obvious I’m elaborating everything I just typed above just so I could dawdle, taking my time, reminiscing the series, thinking of what to write and channeling all the emotions I’ve had since reading this book, and practically just bobbing my head while typing this for no apparent reason.

Okay, let’s do this. -gears up-

The Hunger Games

As I said, I started on The Hunger Games immediately after Nikki sent me those files. It was okay, the beginning, nothing was blowing my mind yet… doesn’t look like anything’s going to blow my mind for a few pages… However, I was starting to appreciate the plot Collins had in this book. It was a post-apocalyptic era, and two teenagers from every district are sent into an arena with the most terrifying challenges and obstacles you can imagine, and you have to fight, to the death. Only one person left alive, not just left standing. Mind you, I’m never looking at reality TV shows the same way again. The Games was initiated by the government, known as the Capitol, led by President Snow who is power-hungry. The story setting revolves around 12 districts, plus the Capitol itself. (Think North America with fewer states.) There used to be a District 13, but it was destroyed during the Dark Days, when all the districts rebelled against the Capitol for their cruelty. With District 13 defeated, the Capitol won, and they created the Hunger Games as a reminder to everyone in the remaining 12 districts of the Dark Days, of the consequences that would ensue if anyone were to step out of line. The plot was realistic, (the Games was sick and cruel, that’s what makes it realistic because we are reminded of how us humans are so barbaric) even for a young adult novel, at the very least, instead of just writing sappy romantic conversations between teenagers the whole 300+ pages of the book. Sure, one of the main themes of the books was Katniss and Peeta’s romance, but it wasn’t a romance novel, and for the first time I don’t find myself gagging when I read about their supposedly romantic exchanges.

God, where am I veering off to?

All was calm, and I admit I liked Katniss straight away, when she sacrificed herself for Prim’s safety during the reaping. I knew she was the kind of person I’d love to root for, strong, hard-headed, independent, but also loving and caring towards the people she loves. And then there’s Peeta. Sweet, kind Peeta who loves Katniss with his whole heart, even though it was unrequited at first, and protects her no matter what she thinks or does. Okay, yes, I do love scenes like this, don’t judge me.

So before all that, when Peeta admits he has a crush on Katniss in front of a live audience, I was caught off guard completely. Katniss was equally shocked too, which spices things up even more. But it was actually just an act to win them sponsors, to ensure they stay alive in the arena during the Games. This was one of the most memorable parts of the book.

Finally, all 24 tributes enter the arena, and Katniss is forced to survive alone. Her hunting skills are what kept her alive most of the time, and she was an extremely tough person. But soon she finds out Peeta is teaming up with a bunch of Careers (tributes who are absolutely determined to win the Games) to hunt Katniss down because apparently she scored the highest marks during private sessions even though both she and Peeta come from District 12, the poorest district, and they took her as a threat. Later she found out Peeta was actually protecting her, but he got hurt, and she ran away continuing surviving on her own, then teaming up with Rue, a twelve year old who is actually really talented who reminds Katniss of her sister Prim, but eventually Rue dies and Katniss sends her off not as a tribute, but a friend, thus gaining respect from the people of Rue’s district, District 11.

The story continues, Katniss battling to survive, until something unexpected happens. The Capitol announces that there would be two winners this time, so Katniss immediately thinks of Peeta, of course, since they were both supposed to be “star-crossed lovers” ever since Peeta publicly announced his love for her, but finds out that he is seriously injured and nurses him back to health, and eventually the two of them survive. But the Capitol, being the Capitol, turns around and announces again that circumstances have changed and there could only be one winner. So Katniss forms a plan, and suggests suicide for both her and Peeta so that there wouldn’t be any winner, so that the Capitol would be humiliated for once. The Capitol immediately take back their words and Katniss and Peeta are declared champions.

Katniss finds out Peeta’s feelings for her are real, contrary to her own which is a huge ball of mess, torn between two people: one is Gale, her childhood sweetheart whom she has stuck with for 4 years, and another is Peeta of course. So the book ends with both Katniss and Peeta returning to District 12, and Peeta saying, “Let’s do this one more time, for the audience?” and I couldn’t sleep the whole night.

By this point I dreaded continuing the next book because I didn’t want it to end so quickly.

Catching Fire

Catching Fire starts with Katniss and Peeta going on the Hunger Games Victory Tour, a tradition for victors to visit every district after the Games. Before the Tour, President Snow visited Katniss, and threatened to kill the people she loves if she doesn’t make some “changes” to the districts, because when Katniss took out the berries during the Games, it was a sign of rebellion against the Capitol and the incident was starting to have its effects on some districts to rebel once again. So Snow wants Katniss to stop this uprising, by convincing everyone that her pulling out the berries was actually just an act of love towards Peeta. Peeta also did his part by proposing to Katniss, but she soon found out Snow still wasn’t mollified, so Katniss gave up trying to calm the citizens of Panem.

The time for the annual Hunger Games arrives again (It’s been a year wow that’s fast) and every 25 years, the Games are also called the Quarter Quell where it is somewhat different from the normal Games, and this year, the tributes are selected from the victors’ of every district, and that also means Katniss is in for another round in the arena.

Not surprisingly, Peeta volunteers to take Haymitch’s (their mentor in the previous Games and the only victor from District 12 before Katniss and Peeta won) place and both of them enter the arena again. This time, they make allies with the other victors/tributes: Finnick (His name alone makes my heart stop), Mags, Johanna, Wiress and Beetee. They get along pretty fine, and then Beetee (a genius inventor) suggested making a trap for the other tributes, but it was actually a plot to eliminate the surrounding force field of the arena, which was unknowingly carried out by Katniss. The force field broke, and a mysterious hovercraft picked up Katniss, Finnick and Beetee.

Later, Katniss woke up in a hospital on the hovercraft, where Haymitch explained everything to her. There was a plot to rescue the tributes, a plot formed by the rebels taking refuge in none other than District 13, which isn’t actually destroyed to the ground but is still up and running, led by President Alma Coin. District 13 runs underground, and is far more modernized than the other districts, since they handle nuclear weapons and all. Katniss found out that she was actually the symbol of the rebellion, the Mockingjay (courtesy of the mockingjay pin she wears during both Games). Unfortunately, Peeta, Johanna, and Annie Cresta, the girl whom Finnick loves are captured by the Capitol. Katniss is devastated and even more so when Gale tells her District 12 has been bombed to the ground by the Capitol, although both their families managed to escape.

At this point, I considered abandoning Mockingjay for the day, and continue the third and final book the next day, but obviously I couldn’t stay away so I started on Mockingjay.

Mockingjay

I was pretty much in despair when I found out there were only 150+ pages in Mockingjay, whereas there were 300+ in The Hunger Games and 200+ in Catching Fire. So, I didn’t speed up when reading like I usually would, and Mockingjay actually took me 3 days to finish as opposed to the 1 day I knew I could achieve.

Mockingjay started off with Katniss adapting to her life underground in District 13, which is to say she couldn’t adapt at all. She was still labelled as a mentally unstable patient even after leaving the hospital ward, shaken by grief and shock. She was still reluctant to be the face of the rebellion led by Coin, still in terrible despair over her losses, until she saw Peeta on TV, and agreed to be the Mockingjay, the face of the rebellion. She started making all these propagandas about the cruelty of the Capitol and encouraging all the other districts to rebel too, with Beetee infiltrating the Capitol’s television network to air those “propos” to everyone in Panem. Then one day, Peeta appeared again, and was in time to warn all of District 13 about a bomb attack from the Capitol before he was severely beaten up by the Capitol, and Katniss vowed to have him rescued. District 13 survived the bombing, and Coin had people invading the Capitol. Peeta, Johanna, Enobaria (one of the victors) and Annie were rescued, but Katniss’s happiness was later extinguished when Peeta suddenly attacks her upon seeing her for the first time. She found out that the Capitol had been torturing him by feeding him terrible memories/images of Katniss being a dangerous mutt and she was heartbroken. Nevertheless, she gave up on him and sought ways to bring down the Capitol.

Katniss, Finnick, Gale, and eventually Peeta, became part of the ‘Star Squad’, a squad sent to assassin Snow. Peeta was slowly being cured, the doctors from District 13 extracting tracker jacker venom that was believed to have caused those images of an evil Katniss in his mind, but he was still unstable, lethal, and Katniss knew he would never be the old Peeta she knew so well, but everyone is slowly helping him to realise what is real and what is not real.

One day, the Star Squad was ambushed, and as all of them hurried towards the Capitol, heading for the president’s mansion to carry out the assassination, Finnick, along with six more soldiers were killed. At this point, I was shell shocked. How could Collins kill off Finnick? What would happen to Annie then? But eventually I didn’t find out. Gale was injured and Peeta was nowhere to be found as Katniss reached the front gate to the mansion. There were many people hurt from the commotion in the square, and paramedics from District 13 were lowered from helicopters into the square, one of them Prim. Unfortunately, a bomb was released right then among the injured, and Prim was killed. Another surprise. First Cinna (Katniss’s stylist), Finnick, and now Prim? What’s more, Gale was blamed for the releasing of the bomb, which was indeed released by the people of District 13, and not the Capitol. So of course Katniss blamed him too. By this time it was difficult to continue but I did anyway.

Katniss woke up, finding herself in the hospital once more. Coin had promised Katniss she would be able to kill Snow personally by her own hand, and she was granted that wish. Snow was chained and brought out to be murdered in front of the all citizens of District 13, and President Coin. However, I was astonished yet again when instead of aiming her arrow at President Snow, Katniss ended up killing President Coin. I thought I saw the words wrong, but it was true. She killed President Coin, president of District 13, the district she had taken refuge at.

Apparently, that’s what everyone thought so too, and she was imprisoned in a cellar for days, while battling her addiction to morphling, (an opiate, as we now call it) which she had consumed in large amounts when she was hospitalized. Therefore, it was a huge ball of confusion and mess all the time she was trapped, stricken with the grief of losing so many loved ones, including Prim. Then, Haymitch appears, to take her back to District 12, to her home, which was the only place left intact from the bombs. Haymitch and Katniss return to District 12, where Katniss lives alone all by herself in her own house, lonely and constantly haunted by nightmares and deaths. President Coin’s murder was blamed by Katniss’s instability (when the actual reason, I think, is that Coin was seriously corrupted after all those violence of the war) , and Snow died sometime after that, coughing up blood. Katniss was not punished, because she was the Mockingjay, after all, but everyone reckoned she was too unstable to continue living in District 13, and was therefore sent back to District 12. A few days later, she comes out to find Peeta has returned home too, and with his help, Katniss becomes better again, even though she knows she will always be damaged, from war, from death. Together they create a book recording every good thing of the people who have died for her. Cinna, Finnick, Prim, her father. In the end, Collins finish the book by having Gale take up a “fancy job” in District 2, while Katniss finds out she could only truly be happy with Peeta. The epilogue was tragic, and made me tear up so badly.

Upon finishing Mockingjay that night, I couldn’t go to sleep so long after that. There was this hollow feeling in my gut that I’ve discovered has only been experienced by few people, people who love books more than anything else. For a while I was just staring straight ahead, reliving every single thing in my head, feeling empty inside. It was exactly like what Ellie said, now that I’m finished with this series, what am I supposed to do now? It’s been about a week I’ve finished the series, but I still couldn’t move on, still keep rereading the books. Finishing Mockingjay was worse than finishing Deathly Hallows, and that’s saying something, Harry Potter being the only series I’ve truly been attached to, and now I guess The Hunger Games has had a huge impact on my life too.

However, there were many weak points in Mockingjay that I felt like pointing out:

What was the point of creating the Star Squad, only to have all of them killed except for the main characters? Why not just have Katniss plus Gale plus Peeta and maybe plus Finnick have a direct assassination?
Blaming Gale for the bomb was kind of a lame excuse for Katniss to choose Peeta over Gale. I actually preferred Gale in The Hunger Games & the beginning of Catching Fire, since they knew each other ever since they were so young, so of course they would know each other better, but everything changes after the Games, everything was bound to, anyway. I’d rather that be the reason Katniss chose Peeta, that, and the fact that Peeta was always there for her, no matter what, even though his love for her was unrequited.
Again, “Gale takes up a fancy job in District 2”? Gale is never that type of person. For all I know, Gale cares about Katniss too much to ever “take up a fancy job”, so there was a huge loophole there and everyone just went “double yew tee eff”?!
I really wanted to know what happened to Annie having to face Finnick’s death. But that would probably make me sadder so. BUT I still think Collins should have wrote that part.
Katniss is the Mockingjay, but so far she hasn’t really convinced me that she is the Mockingjay. All she ever did was record propagandas, and I was waiting for her to be the Mockingjay for once, by taking down President Snow by herself or doing something that resulted in a huge impact on the country but no Collins failed to give me that so that was a huge let down.

All in all, the story reminds me too much of the current world we live in. War, violence, and its ability to damage and corrupt people, but in the end, it’s us humans who bring this kind of terrible fate upon ourselves. Despite the teenage love romance, this series is actually realistic compared to Shitelight or any other series. I just wished people would stop comparing Hunger Games with Twilight because THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING SIMILAR BETWEEN BOTH NOVELS. Sure they both have this love triangle crisis, but there’s where the similarity ends. Says Galaxie, a local magazine: “Where writing, storytelling, plotting and everything else is concerned, The Hunger Games is a far (100 times) superior book to anything Stephenie Meyer has ever written.” and that is the genuine truth. Not even a single sparkly vampire in that series how on Earth can they compare THG to Twilight remains a mystery to me. Just because a book series is about to developed into a movie doesn’t make it similar to Twilight, people. Recognize quality where it’s worth for heaven’s sake.

Lionsgate just announced that they would be producing The Hunger Games movie which should be released in 2013, and that has got me so ecstatic. Of course, dreamcasts are spread all over Tumblr, and this is my own dreamcast version of The Hunger Games.

Katniss Everdeen- Kaya Scodelario
Peeta Mellark- Hunter Parrish
Gale Hawthorne- Adam Gregory
Primrose Everdeen- Elle Fanning
Finnick Odair- Alex Pettyfer
Effie Trinket- Kristin Chenoweth
Haymitch Abernathy- Robert Downey Jr
Cinna- Adam Young

PS. Please ignore any spelling/grammar mistakes I wrote all this on an adrenaline high and in a rush.

Slytherin Colours: Green/White

PLEASE IGNORE THE ZIT ON MY CHIN PLEASE.

I apologise for the late braces update. Yesterday I went and got my braces changed again, and in conjunction of 19th November, which is also the release date for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows movie, I have decided to go through all four houses’ colour for four consecutive months. I chose Slytherin first, even though I belong in Hufflepuff. Shh, don’t question that.

As I waited for the uhm, nurse, to call my name, I watched an episode of Wipeout. 4 minutes for a girl, best time I’ve ever seen.

And then I went in, and it’s been around 2 months since I last visited my orthodontist, so naturally there were a lot of spare bits of food, here and there, leaving my teeth sore. Then when the nurse asked me to choose the colours I wanted, and (out of desperation, actually) I chose green and white but then she told me I’m only going to have the colours out on my top row and I was like, huh? And then she said it’s because I’m having linking rubbers put on my bottom row, which is colourless, like Lailati’s. (only hers has colours) I couldn’t it anything hard after that because it was painful.

We went to Queensbay Mall later and I got books! We went home and I watched Wipeout on TV that night again.

And for the first time, the pain didn’t wear away. It’s the 2nd day, and I expected it to go away, but it’s still here, and it’s like having my braces put on for the first time again. Ugh.

PMR- Fifth (and Last) Day

Let me start off by saying today stretched on longer than any other day. Mandarin paper 2 was first and I spent too much time on the 2nd section. The long essay was okay, but we’ll see. Paper 1 was terrible, terrible, terrible. Oh well, Joey is going to have to keep to her promise and take me out to dinner once news come out I won’t get an A in Mandarin.

Anyway, after first paper we had a cake brought in for Shi Qian and we sang her a song and ate cake with kiwi toppings.

The end of PMR means time to make plans so

GOODBYE PMR

Charizard I choose you!

PMR- Fourth Day

You must all really be enjoying my posts huh?

Today is the fourth day of this dastardly beastly exams. I will keep this short and simple because I have run out of creative juices. And because I am not in the mood.

Math paper 1 and Math paper 2 were easy. KHB paper was harder than usual, but okay.

That’s it.

Bonjour iWorld

First off, this is a very, very, very late post and I apologise but PMR has kept me at bay (hoho as if) and this has been saved as a draft on my dash for 2 weeks now.

Say hello to my iPhone 4, bought on the 27th of September, Monday, right after my parents fetched me from school. The Friday before that, we went to Maxis centre to inquire about the rebate plan or whatssat it’s called to get an iPhone. After a fairly lengthy discussion, we decided to get an iPhone 4 instead of an iPhone 3G (which was actually my first option because the iPhone 4 was fugly and I had people tell me it’s not better than the old model) because I might as well keep up to date, right?

My iPhone 4 is called Malfoy.

I have been sleeping with Malfoy under the pillow for weeks now (get your mind out of the gutter) playing with his abs. I mean, apps. I have Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Formspring, WordPress, YouTube, eBuddy, PingChat! and Flickr so I’m never bored. I spend almost every other night watching AVPM/AVPS on YouTube, tweet for a while, maybe write a blog post or two, check my Tumblr dash, maybe play the Toy Story 3 app, (which is pretty mint, by the way) and read eBooks from the iBooks store while listening to the built-in iPod. During PMR week I have spot questions copied from emails into the notes app, and it is really efficient. Get this, I even have a period tracker with flowers and butterflies.

And when I go out, instead of taking along

I only have to bring along

Life has certainly improved. Be right back getting an iBurger from the iOven in the iKitchen and peeing in the iFlush. Oh wait.

PMR- Third Day

I had a terrible dream last night, and long story short, I dreamt that I lost everyone I love and it was horrible, so I woke up feeling pretty bad.

I realised I haven’t really described in detail how PMR is carried out. I arrive at school at around 7.20am every morning, then catch a few cramming minutes at the canteen, where everyone is gathered before entering the school hall. The first paper is usually 8.10am so all of us queue up according to classes right at the very front of the canteen with Teacher Zarina trying to get us to shut up and the principal gives a speech thereafter. Then, we make way to the school hall.

Not gonna lie, I look forward to enter the school hall every time. It’s air conditioned, and for the first time in my three years of schooling in Asma School, I actually felt cold wearing my prefect uniform.

Science paper 1 was easy, I finished it very quickly.

After that we had an hour plus long break, and out of nowhere, I started to weep, but tried to pass it off as a runny nose. I didn’t know where this came from. I wasn’t mad, but I ignored my friends and felt hot-tempered. I just felt really, really sad and awful so I was quiet the whole time.

Science paper 2 was completely out of the syllabus, very unlike the format we had during out trial and previous exams, so, many freaked out and said it was really difficult, but to be honest I thought it was pretty okay, and that my answers made sense, syllabus or not so why wouldn’t they accept it?

Science paper 2 ended at 12pm, and we had lunch, rest, and studied until 2pm, where we were gathered once again before entering the hall. History started at 2.30pm and it was fairly easy too. I realised I’ve been very lax when sitting for my papers. Not really bothering to check again and again, convinced that I’ll manage to scrape a simple A anyway.

It’s Thursday and we’re on a break on Friday, Saturday and Sunday (we resume on Monday and Tuesday) which makes me slightly happy. Dad says I can get a day off today so I’m probably going to cut out some lyrics or make a collage later.

PS. Happy birthday, Shi Qian!

PMR- Second Day

Second day of PMR. (Woooo) Today was slightly more relaxed because it was only English and Geography.

JJ and Ean asked people Geography questions today. It seemed much more funnier now that I wasn’t flipping with wretched nerves on the ride to school.

English paper 1 was okay. When I got paper 2 and looked at the title of Section A, I got shocked. It was like primary school all over again, even Soya agrees with me. Five pictures in sequence, and the story was, get this, about a boy called Rahim who found a bag full of cash by the road, and SO, being the honest boy everyone writes him out to be, he takes the bag to the police station and the rest is predictable. The policeman praises him, goes to his school, his principal praised him again… WHY IS EVERYTHING SO BORING?

Literature question asks for a good quality in a character and I chose loyalty in Mr Utterson. This has been the third time all of us have written about loyalty during exams.

I finished Geography paper in 15 minutes I was surprised myself, and it wasn’t only me, Pei Fong finished right after I did. It was a piece of cake.

Science and History tomorrow. Somehow I don’t really want to care anymore.

PMR- First Day

Last night, I closed my eyes at 1.30am, but only slept at 3am because of those darned noises on the roof and my paranoia set me on edge. I thought it was a burglar waiting to crash into my windows any second, I was gripping my phone and contemplating running to my parents’ bedroom if this happens, so I just stared wide eyed at the window, scared as hell, until finally the noises stopped and I got too tired and fell asleep. But in the end it must’ve been some stupid cat or bird and I woke up at 6.45am feeling like my eyelids had dumbbells tied to it.

On the way to school, JJ and Ean were receiving phone calls from people, getting them to translate English sentences into Malay, in conjunction of us 15-year-olds sitting for PMR. (Wooo)

When I reached school, my stomach was flipping worse than ever, and I tried to steal a few minutes of cramming then walked into the hall. The first paper, Malay paper 1, was hard as hell. I felt so frustrated and unmotivated, I didn’t know half the questions in that paper, but I could only ignore it and focus on the next paper. The next paper, Malay paper 2 was far easier than I expected. Normally I would always be the last in the hall/room to finish it but this time I finished the paper with 40 minutes remaining.

Anyway tomorrow is English and Geography, so it’s much more relaxed, only English Lit to worry about. And I had a two hour nap just now so I should be fine for the rest of the day.

I’ll Be Here To Let The Light In

I’ve just begun to realize I am much more happier than I was in June/July, when I used to cry all over the place, write furiously in the mini notebook inserted in my pencil box to calm myself down. Back then, I tried to avoid friends and family and preferred to be left alone yet I felt so lonely. I would come home from school and go up straight to my room and cry. I cried listening to my teacher teaching in class and I stole a few tears whenever I was in the school bathroom. It was terrible. I don’t really understand why I felt so awful all the time back then, all I can recall is having morbid and despicable thoughts, thoughts that let the tear glands free. I guess I’m better than I was before now. I’ve begun to appreciate my friends’ companionship, and I feel much happier these days, although there is the occasional bipolar turmoil and it’s the Sinking again. Thank you everyone who is part of my sad and confusing life.