More Like A Disaster

NOW PLAYING: THE MAN OF METROPOLIS STEALS OUR HEARTS- SUFJAN STEVENS

Hello, people, I’m back from Phuket! In fact, I’ve been back since Sunday already, but I just haven’t gotten around to writing a blogpost since then because school was incredibly and absolutely hectic.

I’d only managed to obtain wifi in two areas when I was in Thailand, and both places were places where we couldn’t stay for long so there was no way to liveblog like I promised in my previous post. I apologise for that. But you haven’t been missing out on much though, honestly, because my Phuket trip was possibly the worst vacation I’ve ever had.

Let me break it down to you day by day:

Day One. A 12-hour bus ride from Alor Setar to Phuket. Realised a) everyone on the tour was 10, 20 years older than me and b) everyone knew everyone else on the tour, except me.

Day Two. Our first destination was Patong Beach. The beach was nice and clean, the waves calm, and we took lots of photos, but there isn’t much you can do on a beach when you’re on a tour because everyone is always so rushed. In the end, the bus got stuck on the beach and we wasted an hour there doing nothing anyway until they called in one of those huge clawed vehicles (I’m sorry I’m not an engineer!) to pull the double-decker out of its ‘tight spot’. The rest of the day was mainly visiting tourist attractions and local stores. By then, we were fed up with our tour guide due to his incapability to be punctual and responsible, so another reason to call this trip a shitty one. In the evening, however, we went to this drag queen cabaret show at Simon’s Cabaret and that was one of the few highlights of the trip. Even then, the show wasn’t fantastic or mind-blowing, but it was infinitely better than anything else that had happened on the trip (they did a Burlesque show, how cool was that!).

The second highlight of Phuket: it was full of people from all over the world. In one night alone, I had met Korean, Japanese, American, English, Indian, Australian, Arabian as well as other Southeast Asian people, and that was really, really cool because it felt like we’re all in this together! And I know this sounds beyond creepy but I swear to God I just love English people so much. I really do. That night, we also went to Jungceylon Mall, which wasn’t very far from our hotel, and the crowded ambience plus foreign people plus awesome shops (eg. Dairy Queen, Subway) plus live band performance made me feel like I was living life in the fab lane.

But that night, everything took a turn for the worst, and I’m not exaggerating when I say it was the worst night of my life, a thousand times worse than that particular night during MCYDS. I was disturbed and restless, my paranoia making things worse. That night spoiled the whole trip, honestly.

Day Three. I was a in a fully-activated zombie mode that morning, which carried on into early afternoon. Fortunately, after a nap, things returned to normal, albeit too abruptly for my liking. And then there was the third highlight of the trip: a boat trip to James Bond Island, named so because a James Bond film (no idea which one) was filmed at said island. The boat ride was quite nice and the islands were pretty fantastic. We even saw one with prehistorical cave drawings on it. We didn’t get the chance to go onto James Bond Island itself though, because that would cost 200 Baht per person and our tour guide wasn’t very encouraging about that matter, either. So we only went to this restaurant on stilts and it was there that I saw an English couple kiss, for the first time (In-depth translation: it was the first time that I’ve seen people kiss with my own eyes, not that it was the couple’s first kiss…or it could be, how the hell would I know.) and everyone on the boat went “AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW” instantly.

Ahem, veering off into the digressing lane of digressing.

After lunch, it was another two-hour bus ride to Trang, and we only managed to spend two hours shopping at Robinson’s when we reached there so there goes the agenda for the whole day.

Day Four. I wish I could have started Day Four with something along the lines of “despite the unpleasant experiences of the past few days, Day Four turned everything upside down, and made things right again!” but I couldn’t, because nothing of the sort happened. The morning of the fourth day started with yet another two-hour bus ride to Hatyai, and by the time we finally reached the bustling town of Hatyai, I was already running out of travel-sickness pills and swearing never to set foot on a bus again after this trip. The morning passed by uneventfully and we only started shopping at the market in the afternoon. Now that was quite a trip. After that, we left as soon as we could because we didn’t want to get caught in the jam at the immigration border.

We reached Alor Setar at 8 PM and as Dad drove us to Hai Tao Kee for dinner, I’ve never been so happy to be walking on Malaysian soil, seeing Malaysian people, breathing Malaysian air and most of all, eating Malaysian food. Quite ironic, I know (since Thailand is a Teoh-family-proclaimed Land of Glorious Food) but I was so sick and tired of the past few days that I was eager to slip back into my normal routine.

In retrospect, this Phuket trip wouldn’t have been so ghastly if we went on a better tour, stayed at a better place and ate better food. I’ve had many people ask me “Isn’t Phuket actually a lovely place?” when I expressed my complaints and yes, I do agree that it is a lovely place, but unfortunately, unpleasant consequences during my trip marred the lovelier ones so I was unable to enjoy myself.

Note to self: Next time, if I were to travel a long distance, I would drive all the way there. Drivers don’t puke while they drive, do they? Also, sometimes, forking out more money for better quality packages does make a huge difference. In a way, that’s money buying happiness, right there.

Note #3

This is a very tiny note to inform my blog audience that in nine hours, I will be off to Phuket, Thailand for, well, a vacation until Sunday. To be honest, I don’t even know what’s in Phuket. I just Google image searched ‘what to do in Phuket’ and images of beaches, elephants and massages popped up and I’m not sure if I’m one to enjoy beaches, elephants and massages. But then again, it’s probably as good a vacation as I can get, since I’m pretty sure this will be my last outward-bound (figuratively speaking) vacation with my parents before I get shipped off somewhere after I graduate.

Anyway, I digress. Besides informing you about my vacation, this is also a post to say that I will try my best to liveblog my days spent in Phuket, but it’ll have to depend on the availability of wifi service at wherever I am staying as well. If I am lucky enough and there is free wifi service available at all times then I will grace the Internet with constant updates, but if there isn’t, then just forget about my existence for the four days I am away since there is absolutely no way to reach me.

I am, of course, saying all these with the assumption that people care.

Now, if anyone has any suggestions as to how I can spend my 7+-hour bus journey in the least boring way possible, then that would be fantastic…

Something Goes Right In My Life

The very start of my Starstruck! journey

I woke up a very sick person this morning with a runny nose followed by a fever. The entire morning went by quite horribly until I woke up from an uncomfortable nap in the afternoon to check my Facebook on my phone.

To find out that other Starstruck! writers were squealing about getting the internship.

The first thought that came to mind was, what! when! where! how! and then I proceeded to check my email because that would be the logical thing to do…and found no email. The whole time, I kept on repeating to myself that whatever happens, do not be disappointed, but despite that I still felt disappointed because most people I know from Starstruck! (Amanda, Ju Mei, Ellora) got the internship. And then I told myself, it’s alright, you should’ve seen this coming anyway.

And then for some reason, I had an urge to check my old email inbox, the email address which I first used for my Starstruck! assignments. I didn’t know what I was expecting because the whole time I logged into Yahoo! with my old email address, my head was filled with desperate and contradicting thoughts like “please please please let the email be there” and “don’t be disappointed, don’t expect anything” because that was my constant motto, to never harbour any expectations. And when the Yahoo! mailbox page loaded, guess what I saw…!!!

I AM NOW OFFICIALLY AN INTERN FOR THE STAR NEWSPAPER FOR A MONTH!

So that will mean I will be staying in KL alone (well not really alone as in one-person but alone as in without my parents) for a month from the 21st of November to 20th of December and I will be working at Menara Star as a journalist intern within the heart of the newspaper itself.

Needless to say, I was jumping with joy after that and it was like déjà vu all over again.

However, despite the joy of finally having earned something valuable after months of desperate deadlines and mind-crushing assignments, the idea of going to KL for the internship and living alone is frightening, doubled by my introverted personality. It’s going to be a mad world out there, and I don’t know what it’ll do to my “fragile” sixteen-year-old soul.

Now, barely two months away from the internship in Malaysia’s NYC, I see this as a huge turning point in my life. And I know, despite the scary premonitions and predictions, I wouldn’t miss it for anything.

Before I go, here’s a note to my fellow Starstruck! writers since our Starstruck! journey is finally and actually coming to an end:

Dear all, each and everyone of you,

You are all such amazing people, such amazing writers, to be exact. I know I haven’t been the friendliest one of the bunch, and I also know attributing my unfriendliness to my introversion sounds like a lame excuse, but that is the reason I keep to myself most of the time. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to mix around with you guys (quite the opposite, actually), and I certainly hope you guys don’t pass it off as arrogance or snobbishness because to be honest, I don’t really have much to be arrogant or proud of, since most writers on the Starstruck! programme are definitely more talented than I am. I’m still trying to work on my hermit personality.

You don’t know how thankful I am, though, that I have come to know quite a number of amazing new friends through Starstruck! Those crazy chats and the random thingmajigs that go on on the Starstruck! 40 Facebook group wall. Missing the meet-up at Menara Star in June this year was one of the most regretful decisions I’ve made, but I still cling on to the hope that I get to meet each of my fellow Starstruckers someday in the future. (I guess you can say meeting Amanda is my first step forward to that goal.)

To the masterminds behind Stuff@School, thank you for giving me the opportunity to participate in this eye-opening young journalist programme. As I’d once told Amanda, before Starstruck!, I was safe within the confines of my tiny home in the equally tiny town of Alor Setar, believing that I had what it takes, but after Starstruck!, I realised there was much more to it than I’d thought. I now get a sense of what I might want to be in the future, and I am positive the internship will be an even more helpful guide as I wade through the murky waters of the journalism world.

Before I leave, a very heartfelt congratulations to the other upper secondary writers who also got the internship: Alicia, Eibhlin, Amelia, Ann-Marie, Claire, Ju Mei, Min Hui, Ellora, June, Najihah, Kathy, Vincent, Kyle, Paik Suan and Amanda New York City!

Once a Starstruck!, forever a Starstruck!

Interlude 3

Can I get a “woohoo” for Paramore’s new song?

Trapped Between Two Lungs

NOW PLAYING: BETWEEN TWO LUNGS- FLORENCE + THE MACHINE

I made the mistake of going through really old photographs, and I realised there are too many things from the past that I miss.

I miss my best friend.

I miss having a fringe.

I miss feeling naive.

I miss the times when I was clueless about the art of Hating People Just Because You Can.

I miss being skinny.

I miss doing whatever I want without worrying about being judged.

I miss feeling like I belonged.

I miss the crazy times I spent with my closest friends.

I miss being liked.

I miss the absence of my self-consciousness.

I miss my old friends whom I hardly talk to nowadays.

I miss being a good friend.

I miss being a kid.

I miss the privileges that come with being a kid.

I miss feeling happy all the time.

And now they’re gone, out of my grasp, forever.

Raya- A Photopost

Before this post is photobombed, I reckon a short description shall suffice. Our school held a raya celebration in school this morning, and as expected, it consisted of us goofing around, eating, laughing, running around, and not to mention loads of photo-taking.

Photo (c) Benei. Yours truly, Anum, Lut and Ena.

Photo (c) Benei. Okay, I know this is blur but I kind of like it. All the prefects plus the headmistress.

Photo (c) Benei. Eah and Benei. (THEY ARE SO CUTE.)

Photo (c) Jia Huan. The Chinese kids! (The cross-legged hand-stacked pose was very much intended!)

Photo (c) Put. Fatin, yours truly and Aryna.

And then Lela brought out her Polaroid camera and started a frenzy!

Photo (c) Benei. (Up) Anum, Lela and Leea. (Down) Lut, Leea, Anum, Lela, Ena, Benei and yours truly.

Photo (c) Benei. (Polaroid) Benei, Lela, yours truly and Anum at the top.

Photo (c) Benei. (Front) Lela, Ena, Benei and Anum (Back) Yours truly, Lut and Leea

Dark Blue & Lime Green

Okay, short post on my orthodontic visit last Friday (because I have a new one coming up).

That Friday, I was particularly excited (and admittedly nervous) about my Penang trip because I would be meeting Amanda Ng, a fellow Starstruck! writer later at Gurney Plaza. She would be the first Starstruck! writer I met in real life, and I was never good with meeting new people so I was pretty frightened, to be honest.

I changed my braces to dark blue and lime green to match my baju kurung’s colour for the upcoming school’s raya celebration.

I met up with Amanda at 12.30PM and well, it was kind of awkward (for me) at first, but I did my best to ‘de-shy’ myself, as I had promised Amanda earlier. We had lunch at Chicago Ribs after a series of “You pick what to eat!” “No, you pick!” and our conversations started off with the main thing we had in common– Starstruck! and we eventually ventured into topics concerning possible paths after graduation. This continued on as we went window shopping at Padini, Nichii and FOS before Amanda had to leave at 2PM. It wasn’t until I got into my Dad’s car before regretting not taking a photo with Amanda. Sigh.

However, it was honestly fun meeting up with Amanda, exchanging ideas and just, as Aifa would say, soksek-ing in general. Hopefully there would be more meet-ups with her in the future.

Something Special

I know everyone (myself included) knows that I’m not a patriotic person. I don’t hate patriotic people, nor do I hate unpatriotic people. I don’t even know if I am able to label myself as someone who is on the fence, simply because I wouldn’t even have remembered it was Malaysia’s Independence Day today if it weren’t for the tweets on my Twitter timeline.

Namun, ini tidak bermakna aku benci negara saya, aku cuma tidak puas hati dengan pihak kerajaan yang mentadbir Malaysia. Apa gunanya benci negara awak sendiri padahal tanah, pokok, air dan lain-lain komponen ekosistem negara awak tidak pernah memudaratkan keselamatan ataupun kesihatan awak? (Tapi kadang-kala cuaca Malaysia ini memang teruk tahap maksimum lah.) Walaupun negara kita ini dilengkapi dengan banyak slogan seperti ‘Cemerlang, Gemilang, Terbilang’ (maaf kalau susunan tidak tepat) dan satu lagi yang lebih moden dari konsep 1Malaysia ‘Rakyat Didahulukan, Pencapaian Diutamakan’ (Konfesi: Aku terpaksa Google slogan itu bagi betul), tetapi ternyatalah kata kunci yang tertinggal ialah perkataan ‘Bijak’.

不满是不满，可是我还是很庆幸我是住在马来西亚的。虽然说这里的气候是够恐怖的，但是我庆幸这里没严重的天灾。而且，如果要与其他 “威武” 的国家比起，马来西亚可说是世界上最安全的国家（可是我的资料不可靠，你最好Google看）。而且，我也很庆幸能够认识那么多异族朋友，与他们一起平安，和谐地住在同一个屋顶下（how’s that for direct translation!) 。总的来说，我依然记得马来西亚在全世界眼中光荣的时刻，依稀马来西亚的人没那么笨。希望马来西亚还能够看见如此的天。

http://twitter.com/#!/dustyhawk/status/108579517710348288

Don’t laugh. My Malay is the worst, I know, and my Mandarin is rusty from lack of usage. So I guess there you have it, my ‘something’ which is supposedly ‘special’. Oh and I would like to thank Google translate for lending a hand (or a translating software) for most of the Malay/Mandarin words used in this post, maybe he/she will help you in understanding this post too (but I have a feeling the translation’s going to come out all hilarious and funny).

EDIT: On second thought, don’t use Google translate. It makes me sound illiterate blagh. Try grabbing someone nearest to you who understands the language that you don’t?

Happy 54th Independence Day, Malaysia.

Selfish, Indeed

To start off this post in the most traditional and uncreative way imaginable, I offer you a quote, “Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice, and is never the result of selfishness.” by Napoleon Hill, a deceased American author.

I tend to imagine these ‘great achievements’ of mine in my head all the time, most of them revolving around a fantastic social life, considering how I slack rather despairingly in that department. I tend to imagine myself placed in the shoes of social butterflies who are constantly surrounded by friends and are easily liked even by strangers. But try as I may to perfect the art of Making Everyone Like You, I always fail, and that’s when I realised the major flaw in my equation, as pointed out by Mr Napoleon Hill.

I’ve been selfish. In fact, I am selfish. I constantly whine about my social life and how no one ever seems to be there when I myself fail terribly as a friend, never being there for my friends. And so that’s where I figured out my lack of the key ingredient which is the supposed ‘great sacrifice’ or even just ‘selflessness’. I expect people to be there when I need a shoulder to cry on but have I ever done the same? No. I expect people to be there to share great news with but have I ever done the same? Yet again, no. And even if I have, I have not done a good job of it.

But you know what? Everything I’ve ever done, I try my best to be selfless. I don’t put myself in any position to be mattered, but still I manage to be selfish. Because one way or another, my incapabilities often land me in sticky situations in which I often manage to escape by taking advantages of my friends.

And so for that, to each and everyone of you reading this, I’m sorry. I really, truly am.

38 Rambunctious Teenagers, 1 Bus, 4 Destinations

Fun Fact! I spent wholly three minutes trying to come up with interesting titles that would grab readers’ attentions rather than over-the-top bland and hackneyed ones like ‘Trip To Penang’, ’19/8/2011 Penang Trip’ etc.

Post-Fun-Fact! This post will be rather photo-laden.

This is one of the rare moments I actually leave the hermit hole I’ve hidden in for quite some time to be ‘adventurous’ (however ‘adventurous’ I can get anyway). Thus, after much persuading on Pei Fong’s behalf, I agreed to join the one-day Penang trip organised by my school’s Chinese Society on the 19th of August, a Friday.

Admittedly, I felt rather sour that I had to wake up so early on a weekend, not to mention the relatively hollow feeling in my gut caused by much worry over how this trip would turn out. Would I have fun or would it be a waste of time? Worry, worry, worry. So when I got on the bus, I told myself sternly that I wouldn’t be a pessimistic for the day and would try -at the very least, try– to enjoy myself, no matter what happens. It turned out that it wasn’t a waste, after all.

(Back): Pei Fong, Jia Yee, Yu Han; (Front): Jia Huan, yours truly looking ever so royally hippie in that tie-dyed shawl, Chew Jie & Shi Qian

Most participants were Form Four students, followed by Form Two students and only one Form Three student. We stopped for breakfast at Butterworth before we continued to our first destination, the Pinang Peranakan Mansion.

I like how I've managed to fool everyone by my non-existent 'tallness'.

Before leaving, we visited the souvenir shop and despite knowing it’s a place where prices are set so, so high to kah tourists, I still bought four souvenirs that cost me a total of RM 20 as I realised that I had nothing for my debate team members who would be coming over for a discussion the next day.

After that, we headed for the Kwang Wah Yit Poh newspaper press headquarters, where we had an insight on the multiple gears functioning within the headquarters to produce daily papers for the Chinese folks of our country. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to describe the working scenes in the building as we were prohibited to snap any photos in it due to privacy reasons so I’m just going to say how the whole visit to the headquarters reminded me of the Starstruck! visit to Menara Star in June, which I didn’t get the chance to join. Billions of sighs.

After that, we had lunch at Sushi King at 1st Avenue and not only did we overeat, we also overspent. The ‘perks’ of being in total control of your wallet. Sigh.

Then, we visited the Chinese book exhibition at PISA but predictably, I didn’t buy anything there. The next and last stop was the most anticipated one of all: Queensbay Mall. Well, what do you expect from 38 rowdy teenagers who were ready to break their wallets into half for teenage-ish stuff like books, clothes, accessories, books, shoes, bags and did I mention books?! The first thing I did when we reached the mall was excuse myself from my friends to dash to Borders, and by the time Shi Qian, Pei Fong and Chew Jie were already done with their shopping, I wasn’t done with mine yet, because get this, the Borders outlet in Queensbay Mall Penang lost all of their Murakami books, so in the end I bought Life of Pi by Yann Martel, and that in itself took me a few hours because it was a ‘50% off for second book’ purchase but I couldn’t find any other second book with the same promotion that I wanted, so the 50% discount was considered obsolete in my case.

After that we had dinner at the food court at the topmost floor of the mall, which I’ve never been to before. Sadly, most of us (Vi-ven, Shi Qian, Pei Fong and yours truly) couldn’t finish our food because we were simply too full, and even Chew Jie and Jia Huan who finished theirs were bloated after that.

After dinner, we received an urgent phone call from Jia Yee calling us to meet them at Brands Outlet where we found out they only called us down so we could complete their ‘3 clothes for RM50’ purchase. Nah, just kidding, but that was partially truthful. After much frenzy over these purchases, we gathered at the main entrance and left Penang at around 8.30 PM.

I wouldn’t say this trip was ‘educational’ or ‘eye-opening’ (which I, truth be told, think is the main objective of this trip) but it was certainly very, very fun and it turned out I had nothing to worry about in the first place.

PSA Y’all!

Okay, maybe this post is not really a public service announcement, BUT it is a post to err, promote my friend’s (who is currently returning to the wonderful world of writing and blogging!) blog. She is none other than the Aifa that I constantly mention in my recent posts, and she is, needless to say, awesome. Let’s all give her a warm welcome, shall we?

http://coatedapplechoc.blogspot.com

You are most welcome, Aifa.

We’ll Dance Inside This Tragedy

NOW PLAYING: AUGUST 28TH 3:30AM- AUTOMATIC LOVELETTER
Reveries of helplessness,
Have left me all but hoping.

Prelusive warning: If you reckon some of the things I write don’t make sense, kindly ignore. These are the past-midnight ramblings of the restless.

Have you ever wondered if I were a thief? A thief that appeared in your life, and would soon disappear just as suddenly, stealing everything we’ve ever had together. That one day I would be gone from your lives altogether, a fugitive.

No, I’m not a thief, but I’ve wondered if there were any in my life. You’re probably thinking that I’m going crazy and that I don’t make sense at all and if that’s so, don’t worry, I think I kind of agree with you. I don’t know why those thoughts appeared in my mind, they just did. Sometimes I would wonder if (strictly no names at this hour! Who knows whose name I might spill…) A would just pack up and leave without warning, and I would just be left with empty regrets, regrets over what was now gone. Or maybe B would have a sudden change of heart, and whatever relationship we had would be sacrificed; or C would just leave the world, forever, just like that, and all these regretful moments would accumulate in an empty spot in my heart and soon it will grow like a tumour, until I finally succumb to the pain and ache of it all.

That’s it. I’m afraid of people leaving. Sometimes, I think of the future, and I think of the crossroads I would have to take, and also the inevitable, morbid phone calls that announce nothing but bad news, and then I think of…nothing. Of how we eventually fade to nothing. Sometimes you think your heart can’t ache anymore but it can. Sometimes you weep over the mere thought of unfortunate events and then you weep even more over the realisation of the pain that must inflict on you when said events eventually happen in the future. Because there is no way out, no fire exit, no Plan B, no second chance. What will come will come and you would just have to welcome them even if you have your arms folded.

I’m just afraid of people leaving. They always never fail to leave gaping holes in my heart, holes that are impossible to mend. I hope for the day when I focus more on my blessings than on my losses.

Interlude 2

Modeled by Hui Ying, yours truly and Ching Ju. Photographed by my mum.

“Society teaches ‘don’t get raped’ rather than ‘don’t rape’.”

-Hilary Beaumont

The scenario in the Teoh’s household this evening: photoshoot first-timers, lots of giggling, awkward photo poses, an impatient photographer, “creative” brainstorms but most importantly, the ability to send our message across to the worldwide society.

Watch out for a future issue of Stuff@School in…the future.

Procrastination Station #2

You know what I miss? Debating.

In fact, what a coincidence. I just had a dream last night that Aifa, Alia and I went to some kind of HELP-similar debate competition in Singapore. But it wasn’t a great dream. It was quite horrible in fact, because I was unprepared -literally unprepared- for the competition. Typical nightmare of mine.

But I do miss debating. I told Aifa this sometime ago, and she said I just missed going to debates instead of really debating. Well, she did have a point. Debating gets you everywhere, and the people you meet at these kind of events get you to places as well. I’ve only been to one unofficial “friendly” debate and one official debate competition but I’ve gotten to know some very good friends from both matches. It’s a thrilling experience, oftentimes digging you out of the hermit hole you’ve made in that tiny town of yours.

Going to debates aside, I miss the verb debating itself as well. I miss staying up till late night, draining our brain juices (oh ho what fun times indeed!); I miss researching on brand new issues and topics I’ve never heard of before, and the joy of procuring new knowledge; I miss feeling scared before entering debating grounds; I miss coercing myself to sound loud and confident even though I clearly am scared out of my wits; I miss being able to take a stand and express my opinions about a certain issue; I miss leaving the ‘battlefield’ with a sense of pride that I have done something out of the ordinary, and I have done it well.

There’s just a really enthralling and adrenaline-inducing thrill to the art of debating. Sure, it is really, really stressful and tiring, but walking down reminiscence road, debating has been one of the highlights of this year.

Hence, armed with this newfound passion, we’ve decided to march into the wider field of debating grounds a new army with raw passion and determination next year, hoping for some victory battles, as well as passing on the debating vehemence and zeal to the generations after us.

Das Beste Oder Nichts

The best or nothing.

It took me an abnormally long time to realise that one only matters if he or she is the best. Less than that, and you’re off the radar where people notice and appreciate you.

That’s the way with life. You only have one option to truly stand out: to be the best of the best, the cream of the crop, the pick of the bunch.

I see the truth in Effie’s words when she said being second earns you nothing at all. Nobody cares about who’s second, or third, or fourth best. They are just add-ons that no one cares about. They exist just because they need to.

In a world where materialism is considered a significant aspect of life, one simply cannot afford to be any less than the best. Being so doesn’t mean you’re not good, just that you’re not good enough, not good enough for the world or anyone around you. Sure, people will always be there to say, “You’ve done your best,” but if your best doesn’t make you the best, it’s no use, is it not? You don’t get to obtain a scholarship if you’re only second best; you don’t get selected for the most wanted job in the region if you’re only second best; you don’t get to be President if you’re only second best. You practically get nothing out of being second, which makes you nothing in the world’s eye.

If anything, you only get pitiful stares and words of consolation that aren’t comforting in the bit, and that is worse than anything else in the world.

In other words, perhaps there is no other goal in life other than to be the best. Perhaps that’s what living this life is really all about. Being the best, beating the rest.